In the early days of parenthood, many couples experience an upheaval in their relationship dynamics, including sexually. This is because having children can cause emotional stress, physical exhaustion, and reduced privacy. As such, it's natural to see changes in their desire for sex or how often they have it. For some, this may mean less frequent intercourse but more affectionate touches or sensual moments between each other.
If both partners are satisfied with these changes, there won't be any significant problems. On the contrary, it's crucial to understand that every couple must communicate and adjust their expectations about sex and intimacy after childbirth.
Couples should acknowledge that having a newborn demands most of their energy and attention, so they need to consider the possibility of having less frequent intercourse than before, even temporarily. It's also vital to recognize that breastfeeding mothers might require extra rest and support from their partner during the night hours. This could reduce their libido and make them feel uncomfortable about sexual intimacy. Conversely, fathers who take care of their baby at night could develop resentment toward their spouse's lack of contribution.
Couples must find ways to connect emotionally without involving explicit sexual acts. They can spend time cuddling, watching TV together, holding hands, kissing, hugging, or engaging in non-sexual foreplay. These gestures help maintain closeness and intimacy between partners while respecting their individual needs. Communication is essential as it allows parents to express themselves openly and honestly regarding their thoughts on sex postpartum.
One parent might be more interested in non-penetrative activities like mutual masturbation, while another prefers cunnilingus. Some may wish to remain monogamous, while others want to explore outside relationships. These differences may cause conflict and frustration if not addressed properly. To address this, both parties should learn to negotiate and compromise. This means discussing their desires, fears, expectations, and boundaries regarding each other's bodies and what turns them off/on.
It's also crucial to note that some couples adjust their sex life after childbirth with no issues.
It takes a conscious effort to understand each other's changing needs and preferences.
Having children doesn't mean giving up on your relationship, but rather finding new ways to nurture it and keep the spark alive.
How do couples psychologically adjust expectations of frequency and quality of sex after childbirth?
After childbirth, couples may need to redefine their expectations for frequency and quality of sex due to changes in physical and emotional needs that occur during pregnancy and postpartum recovery period. It is common for new parents to experience fatigue, hormonal shifts, and changes in body image, which can impact sexual desire and performance.