The process of repairing emotions after a traumatic event is essential for establishing healthy intimate relationships. During times of conflict or war, soldiers often develop coping mechanisms to avoid their feelings, such as denial or numbness. This can lead to problems later in life when they try to form close bonds with partners because these coping strategies interfere with the natural flow of emotional communication needed for successful intimacy.
One common way that soldiers cope with trauma during combat is through dissociation, which involves detaching from reality. Dissociative patterns can manifest themselves in several ways, including being able to function without feeling anything, blocking out memories of past experiences, or experiencing amnesia around certain topics. These avoidance behaviors make it difficult for veterans to connect emotionally with others because they struggle to express their true thoughts and feelings authentically.
Another pattern of avoidance that can hinder intimacy is hypervigilance, where people are constantly on guard against perceived threats. In an intimate relationship, this could mean that one partner feels like they need to be constantly alert to potential danger instead of being present in the moment. It can also manifest as anxiety about trusting someone else enough to open up emotionally.
A third type of avoidance behavior is called "emotional shutdown," where people actively suppress their feelings rather than confront them. This can cause difficulties in communicating needs and desires effectively, leading to misunderstandings and frustration between partners.
A veteran might avoid telling their partner what they really want sexually because they're afraid of rejection or feeling vulnerable.
In order to repair the damage caused by unresolved trauma, veterans must learn how to process their emotions healthily and communicate honestly with their partners. Couples therapy can help veterans identify these patterns of avoidance and work through them together. By doing so, they can establish stronger relationships based on mutual understanding and trust.
How do patterns of avoidance developed in combat interfere with the emotional repair processes necessary for healthy intimacy?
In post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), people often engage in patterns of avoidance behaviors as a way to cope with trauma. These behaviors can interfere with the development of close relationships because they prevent individuals from experiencing intimate moments that require vulnerability and trust. When someone is suffering from PTSD, they may feel unsafe emotionally and have difficulty connecting with others on an intimate level due to their hypervigilant state.