How do couples recover sexual desire after trauma, periods of abstinence, or relational conflict?
After such experiences, many people find it difficult to resume their former levels of sexual activity. This is normal. It may take time and effort. Below are some strategies that can help:
1. Communication: Talk openly about your needs and desires. Be specific. Don't assume that your partner knows what you want. Share your feelings without making accusations. Listen actively, and be receptive to feedback.
2. Emotional connection: Reestablish trust and intimacy. Spend quality time together outside of bedroom activities. Build emotional bonds through shared experiences, acts of service, and small gestures.
3. Physical touch: Hold hands, hug, cuddle, kiss, massage, etc. Explore new ways to connect physically without having sex. Let your body language show interest and affection.
4. Sexual experimentation: Try new positions, locations, and scenarios. Roleplay or dress up. Explore kinks or fetishes that were previously off-limits. Engage all senses with sight, sound, scent, taste, and touch.
5. Self-care: Maintain a healthy lifestyle through exercise, diet, and self-care routines. Practice mindfulness, meditation, and relaxation techniques. Take breaks from stressors. Seek professional help if needed.
6. Consistency: Set regular times for intimacy, even if they are short. Prioritize intimate time over other obligations. Create a safe space free from distractions. Make it special by setting the mood with music, lighting, and other sensory stimuli.
7. Honesty: Be honest about your own desires and limits. Avoid pressuring your partner into sexual activity. Respect each other's boundaries. Accept that differences in desire may exist and work towards compromise.
Healing from trauma, abstinence, or conflict requires patience, communication, and effort. It takes time to rebuild trust, intimacy, and passion. With these strategies, couples can overcome barriers to rediscover their eroticism and deepen their connection.
How do couples recover sexual desire after trauma, periods of abstinence, or relational conflict?
It is not uncommon for people to experience disruptions in their sexual desires following life events that cause them to feel emotionally or physically vulnerable. These events may include sexual assault, illnesses or injuries that impact one's physical wellbeing, prolonged period of abstinence (such as during pregnancy), or stressors such as interpersonal conflicts with partners.