What is erotic trust and why it matters for couples
Erotic trust refers to the degree of confidence that a couple has in each other's ability to provide pleasure during sex without fearing being rejected, abandoned, or humiliated. It can be easily destroyed when one partner breaks the rules of monogamy and betrays the other, leading to feelings of anger, pain, hurt, and mistrust that are difficult to overcome.
Couples have different ways to rebuild this essential component of their relationship and strengthen their bond based on mutual respect and honesty.
Rebuilding erotic trust through open communication
The first step in regaining erotic trust after infidelity involves open and honest communication between partners. The betrayed spouse needs to express their feelings freely and listen actively to their partner's apology without interrupting them. They must also acknowledge the pain they caused and take responsibility for their actions. Open communication helps to identify the root causes of the affair, understand the triggers, and work towards healing together.
Seek professional help from therapists
Couples counseling with a trained therapist can help to address underlying issues that may have contributed to the affair and establish clear boundaries for future relationships. Therapy provides a safe space for both partners to express themselves and learn how to communicate better. A therapist can assist with setting up rules such as no secrets and no intimate contact outside the relationship while working on rebuilding emotional and physical intimacy.
Improving sexual technique and exploring new activities
After betrayal trauma, it is important to improve sexual technique and explore new activities to rekindle passion and desire. This includes learning about each other's preferences, trying different positions or fantasies, engaging in foreplay before sex, and experimenting with role-playing or sensory play. Couples should be patient with each other and focus on having fun rather than reaching orgasm quickly. Taking a break from sex is okay if needed but discussing non-sexual interests or hobbies can help keep the connection alive.
Engaging in self-care and personal growth
Individuals need to take care of their mental health by practicing mindfulness, meditation, yoga, or exercise regularly. It is essential to do things that make them feel good about themselves without depending on their partner. They must also focus on personal growth by pursuing hobbies, career goals, or volunteering opportunities. Self-care helps to build confidence and self-esteem, which are crucial for regaining erotic trust in a relationship.
How do couples rebuild erotic trust after betrayal trauma?
After experiencing betrayal trauma in their relationship, couples may find it challenging to regain intimacy and trust. Building trust requires open communication, transparency, accountability, empathy, and commitment from both partners. Couples can start by acknowledging each other's pain and hurt feelings, expressing regret for harmful actions, offering apologies, and committing to healing together.