How do LGBT military couples maintain relational cohesion when facing high operational tempo?
LGBTQ+ people have been serving openly in the US Armed Forces since 2011, but their challenges are still significant due to homophobia and prejudice among some service members. Operational tempo is a common issue for all soldiers and has intensified with the recent surge in demand for military forces worldwide.
It can be especially stressful for LGBTQ+ people who may face difficulties related to their gender identity or sexual orientation within their units. This article will explore how LGBTQ+ military couples can maintain relational cohesion during periods of high operational tempo.
How to deal with personal issues
Personal problems such as anxiety, depression, PTSD, trauma, grief, substance abuse, family conflict, financial strain, health concerns, or relationship troubles often interfere with relational cohesion. For LGBTQ+ military couples, these issues can arise due to discrimination and exclusion by unit members, lack of support from leaders, fear of rejection by superiors, isolation from peers, cultural norms, religious beliefs, or perceptions about sexuality.
To cope with such challenges, LGBTQ+ couples should seek help from mental health professionals through the Military Health System (MHS) or Veterans Affairs (VA). They can also contact chaplains or ombudsmen for confidential counseling services on base.
They may attend military spouse social events to meet other families and build support networks.
They can create an emergency plan that includes communication strategies, trusted contacts, financial planning, legal documents, and childcare arrangements.
Maintaining intimacy and affection
Operational tempo creates a busy lifestyle where couples spend more time apart than together.
It is essential to maintain physical and emotional closeness through regular communication, dates, and romantic gestures. LGBTQ+ partners should discuss their needs and preferences openly, respect each other's boundaries, and make time for physical intimacy even during deployment. They can exchange love letters, postcards, photos, videos, or care packages to feel connected and supported. It's also important to talk about expectations regarding responsibilities at home, parenting, finances, career plans, and relationship goals.
Cultivating mutual understanding
Couples must work to understand each other's perspectives on life in the military, including duty, honor, country, mission accomplishment, teamwork, leadership, discipline, courage, sacrifice, commitment, loyalty, selfless service, integrity, and ethics. They must communicate honestly, transparently, empathetically, actively listen, validate feelings, avoid criticism, compromise, problem-solve, forgive, encourage, appreciate, show gratitude, and give space when necessary.
Strengthening family bonds
LGBTQ+ couples may face challenges related to pregnancy, adoption, surrogacy, foster care, or raising children. Military families can strengthen relationships by creating traditions, setting rules, planning activities, celebrating milestones, practicing routines, building trust, sharing responsibilities, showing affection, and resolving conflicts quickly. Couples should prioritize quality time together, schedule date nights, vacations, weekends away from base, and holiday visits with extended family. They should also attend family support groups, participate in sports events, volunteer opportunities, religious services, or community organizations.
How do LGBT military couples maintain relational cohesion when facing high operational tempo?
LGBT military couples face unique challenges when it comes to maintaining relational cohesion during periods of high operational tempo due to the added stressors of their personal identities and relationships being under scrutiny by both military and civilian communities.