When an individual experiences traumatic events, they may develop posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which can manifest in various ways including changes to their cognitive processes, mood regulation, emotional stability, memory functioning, physical reactions, interpersonal behaviors, and ability to self-regulate. These changes can significantly impact both the person's personal life and romantic relationship. As such, it is crucial for couples affected by PTSD to explore new pathways of connection that are compatible with the veteran's trauma symptoms. This article will discuss strategies for creating these new pathways of connection.
Communication
Communication is essential for building and maintaining healthy relationships.
Individuals with PTSD may find communication challenging due to their symptoms.
They may have difficulty expressing themselves verbally or emotionally, leading to misunderstandings and conflict in their relationship. To overcome this challenge, couples should learn how to communicate effectively using nonverbal cues such as touch, eye contact, facial expressions, and body language. They can also practice active listening skills, whereby they listen to understand rather than respond.
Couples can try "I statements" instead of "you statements," which focus on their own feelings and needs rather than blaming the other person.
Flexibility
Individuals with PTSD often struggle with flexibility, so it is vital for them to be flexible when interacting with their partner. They must accept that not everything will go according to plan and be willing to adapt to changing situations.
If the veteran has a sudden panic attack, their partner should stay calm and reassure them until the episode passes. Similarly, if the couple plans to go out together but one party cannot attend due to unexpected events, the remaining partner should adjust to the situation without getting upset. Couples can work on being more open-minded by considering different viewpoints and perspectives.
Empathy
Empathy involves putting oneself in another's shoes and understanding their experiences, emotions, and thoughts. Individuals with PTSD often experience dissociation, making it difficult to relate to others' emotions. As such, they require empathetic support from their partners. The partner should validate the veteran's feelings, show compassion, and avoid judgmental or critical comments. They should also be patient and allow the individual time to process their trauma symptoms before engaging in further discussions. Moreover, couples can develop a shared language for communicating about difficult topics and build trust through honest communication.
Support
Couples affected by PTSD should provide each other with mutual support. This means offering practical help when needed, such as taking care of household chores or managing finances, and emotional support like listening attentively and expressing love and affection. They can also offer distractions during times of crisis or relaxation techniques to reduce stress levels.
Couples should create a safe space where both parties feel comfortable sharing their feelings without fear of criticism or blame.
Individuals with PTSD may face challenges in maintaining healthy relationships due to their symptoms.
Creating new pathways of connection is possible if couples use strategies like effective communication, flexibility, empathy, and mutual support. By applying these strategies consistently, couples can build stronger bonds, overcome obstacles, and create lasting intimacy despite the effects of PTSD.
How do couples create new pathways of connection when old relational habits are incompatible with the veteran's trauma symptoms?
Couples can create new pathways of connection by engaging in mindful listening, respecting each other's boundaries, and focusing on the present moment together. It is important for partners to be aware of their partner's needs and communicate them effectively, while also being willing to compromise and work towards finding solutions that benefit both parties.