The human body is an organic machine that automatically reacts to stimuli from its environment. This reaction can be both physical and psychological. When danger approaches, our body responds quickly with a fight, flight, freeze, or fawn response. In many cases, these are reflexive behaviors that don't require conscious thought. But when it comes to our experience of pleasure - especially erotic or intimate pleasure - things get more complicated. Our brains have evolved to associate pleasure with reward, but this association can also trigger feelings of fear and anxiety if we perceive the situation as dangerous. The body then reacts by closing down physically and emotionally, creating barriers to prevent further exposure to potential harm. This process may feel strange and counterintuitive, but it is actually a form of self-defense.
When we are aroused sexually, our bodies release a cocktail of hormones like dopamine, norepinephrine, oxytocin, and vasopressin, which create a feeling of euphoria and desire for closeness.
In some situations, these chemicals can activate a fear response instead.
If we feel ashamed about our sexual desires or experiences, we may subconsciously block them out in order to protect ourselves from social judgment or personal trauma. Or if we encounter someone who threatens our safety or security, our brain will recognize the risk and suppress any pleasure signals in order to avoid further vulnerability.
The body's closing mechanism can manifest in various ways, including muscle tension, shallow breathing, sweating, and numbness. We may also become emotionally distant or disconnected, finding it difficult to connect with others on an intimate level. In some cases, we may even push away potential partners or refuse to acknowledge our own needs and desires.
This pattern can lead to a sense of loneliness, isolation, and emotional distance from loved ones.
There are ways to break through this unconscious defense mechanism. By recognizing when we are experiencing this response, we can begin to rewire our brains and allow ourselves to be fully present in moments of pleasure without fear. This requires mindfulness, awareness, and active communication with ourselves and others. With practice, we can learn to trust our bodies and listen to their wisdom rather than resisting its natural impulses.
This opens us up to deeper connection and more fulfilling relationships - both physical and emotional.