When you experience someone's grief or trauma, it is natural to feel empathy for them.
This can also have an impact on your own emotions, including your ability to form and maintain strong bonds with others. This process has been studied extensively in psychology, and there are several theories that seek to explain how it works. One theory suggests that when we witness another person's suffering, we often feel a sense of helplessness and powerlessness, which leads us to withdraw from social interactions. Another theory posits that exposure to traumatic experiences can increase our sensitivity to negative emotions, making it difficult to fully engage with positive ones like joy and love. These effects can last for months or even years, depending on the severity of the trauma experienced.
One study found that soldiers who had witnessed their comrades being killed in action were less likely to form close relationships with other people afterwards than those who did not. The researchers attributed this to the fact that these soldiers felt guilty about surviving while their friends died. They felt responsible for their friends' deaths, and could not imagine having fun or forming intimate connections without feeling disloyal to their memory. In addition, they may have developed PTSD-related symptoms such as hypervigilance, avoidance, and intrusive thoughts about death, which further impaired their ability to connect with others.
Another possible explanation for why witnessing grief or trauma can affect relational empathy and intimacy is attachment theory. According to this perspective, humans naturally develop strong attachments to loved ones through early childhood experiences. When we see someone we care about suffer, our brains release hormones like oxytocin and vasopressin, which promote bonding behaviors like cuddling and nurturing.
If we are repeatedly exposed to trauma, these same hormones can be released in response to danger instead of comfort. This can lead to a pattern of over-attaching to people who are dangerous or unreliable, rather than forming healthy bonds with those who are safe and supportive.
The evidence suggests that witnessing comrades' grief or trauma can have lasting effects on how we relate to others. It can make it difficult to trust new people, even though it is not always easy to tell why. It may also cause us to seek out relationships with people who remind us of our own pain, which can be harmful in the long run.
However, healing from trauma often requires developing new ways to connect with others, including friends, family members, and therapists.
In what ways does witnessing comrades' grief or trauma affect relational empathy and intimacy?
When witnessing their colleagues' grief or trauma, people may feel more emotionally connected to them. They may see themselves as part of a larger group that experiences similar emotions and can form stronger bonds with each other. The experience of witnessing someone else's pain can also help individuals become more aware of how they process their own emotions. Additionally, it allows for an increased understanding of others and creates a sense of belonging.