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HOW QUEER INDIVIDUALS STRUGGLE WITH TENSION BETWEEN THEIR TRUE SELVES AND SOCIETAL EXPECTATIONS

3 min read Queer

The tension between internal duality and societal expectations is often experienced by queer individuals. This tension can arise from various factors, including societal norms, family values, cultural beliefs, and personal identity. Internal duality refers to the conflicting feelings that one experiences within oneself about their sexual orientation, gender identity, and expression. On the other hand, societal expectations refer to the cultural norms and social constructs that dictate how an individual should behave, dress, and express themselves based on their sexual orientation and gender identity. The tension between these two forces can be challenging for queer individuals as they try to reconcile their true selves with what society expects of them.

One psychological process that mediates this tension is cognitive dissonance. Cognitive dissonance occurs when there is a conflict between two beliefs or attitudes.

If a person identifies as gay but feels pressure to conform to heteronormative expectations, they may experience cognitive dissonance. To resolve this conflict, they may engage in strategies such as self-justification, minimization, or rationalization to reduce the discomfort caused by the inconsistency. Self-justification involves making excuses for behaviors or thoughts that contradict one's beliefs or values. Minimization involves downplaying the importance of the conflicting attitude or behavior. Rationalization involves finding logical reasons for why the conflicting attitude or behavior does not matter.

Another psychological process that mediates the tension is internalized homophobia. Internalized homophobia refers to negative attitudes and beliefs that a person has towards their own sexual orientation or gender identity. This can result from external pressures, such as family rejection, societal stigma, or cultural taboos. People who internalize homophobia often struggle with feelings of shame, guilt, and fear about their sexuality or gender expression. They may also engage in self-destructive behaviors such as substance abuse, promiscuity, or isolation. The tension between these negative feelings and positive self-image can lead to confusion and distress.

A third psychological process that mediates the tension is social comparison. Queer individuals may compare themselves to other queer people, straight people, or media portrayals of queerness to evaluate their own identity and expression. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy, envy, and anxiety. It can also perpetuate harmful stereotypes and lead to unrealistic expectations.

Someone may compare themselves to an Instagram influencer who presents a hyper-stylized version of queer life and feel like they are falling short.

The experience of internal duality and societal expectations can have profound effects on mental health outcomes. Studies have shown that queer individuals face higher rates of depression, anxiety, and substance abuse than heterosexual counterparts. This may be due to the stress caused by the constant conflict between one's true self and societal norms. In addition, queer individuals may experience discrimination, violence, and marginalization based on their identity, which can exacerbate mental health issues.

The tension between internal duality and societal expectations is a complex issue for queer individuals. Psychological processes such as cognitive dissonance, internalized homophobia, and social comparison contribute to this tension. These forces can have significant impacts on mental health and well-being, but with supportive resources and self-compassion, queer individuals can navigate these challenges.

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