To sustain marital passion, couples need to recognize and celebrate their shared successes and accomplishments in raising children. This process is known as affirmation of parenting efforts. It can be expressed through verbal acknowledgement, physical touch, emotional support, or material assistance. Affirmation of parenting efforts helps maintain a sense of togetherness and belonging between partners, strengthens the relationship, and fosters mutual respect and admiration. Without it, couples may feel disconnected from each other's daily lives, resentful about unshared responsibilities, and unsure of one another's needs and desires. In contrast, regular affirmation can enhance communication, create a safe space for vulnerability, promote trust and openness, and increase motivation to nurture and grow together.
Parents who receive adequate recognition for their efforts may experience increased confidence, self-esteem, and personal satisfaction. They may also feel more supported and valued by their partner, leading to greater emotional closeness, sexual interest, and intimacy. Parents who do not receive enough positive feedback may struggle with feelings of guilt, shame, stress, exhaustion, frustration, anxiety, depression, and loneliness. These negative emotions can erode the bond between partners, causing conflict, distance, anger, resentment, and dissatisfaction. As a result, parents may lose sight of themselves as individuals, become overwhelmed by family demands, and lose interest in their own wants and needs.
Affirmation can take many forms, including verbal praise (e.g., "You are doing an amazing job raising our kids"), physical touch (e.g., holding hands, hugging), emotional support (e.g., reassuring words, comforting gestures), and material assistance (e.g., household help, childcare). Couples should strive to find a balance that suits their unique needs and circumstances. Some strategies include scheduling dedicated time for non-parental activities, seeking outside support from friends or relatives, and acknowledging each other's sacrifices and contributions. It is important to be specific and sincere in affirmations, avoiding generalizations or platitudes.
Affirmation alone cannot solve all marital problems. It must be paired with effective communication, mutual respect, shared values, and ongoing commitment to building a strong relationship. Without these underlying elements, couples may fall into harmful patterns of criticism, blame, contempt, stonewalling, defensiveness, or withdrawal. They may also fail to recognize and address underlying issues such as financial stress, work-life imbalance, health concerns, cultural differences, personality conflicts, or past trauma. To sustain passion, partners need to prioritize one another's wellbeing, seek help when needed, and cultivate intimacy through shared experiences, quality time, and meaningful conversations.
What role does affirmation of parenting efforts play in sustaining marital passion?
Researchers have found that the affirmation of parenting efforts has been linked to maintaining marital passion over time. Specifically, parents who recognize their partner's contributions to childrearing tasks may feel more satisfied with their relationship and less likely to experience negative feelings such as resentment. This can help them continue to feel connected and invested in each other even when facing challenges related to raising children together.