A key concept in psychoanalysis is that what you see can often be more important than what you hear. It's about the power of looking, but also about the potential for connecting with another person through eye contact. When you feel seen by someone else, it's easier to trust them and let down your guard. This phenomenon has been studied extensively in psychology, neuroscience, sociology, and philosophy. But what does this mean when it comes to healing? How do two people look at each other during difficult times?
When facing an illness or injury, many people find themselves isolated from their community. They may no longer have a job, friends, family, or hobbies. The world outside becomes small and dimmed by pain. They become prisoners of their own bodies and minds.
When they connect with others who are going through similar experiences, something magical happens: isolation transforms into mutual witness. They realize that they aren't alone; there's always someone else who understands and shares their suffering. And this shared experience makes healing possible.
The gaze is a powerful tool for creating intimacy and connection between two people. Eye contact releases oxytocin, which creates feelings of love and attachment. It's why parents bond with newborns and couples fall in love. In a medical setting, this can create a deep sense of empathy between patient and caregiver. The doctor looks at the patient not only as a physical body but also as a human being with emotional needs. And the patient feels seen, heard, and understood.
This concept has been used successfully in group therapy settings where patients share their stories and support one another. A good leader will encourage members to make eye contact and listen actively while others speak. When people feel like they're being truly seen and heard, they open up more deeply. Their defenses come down, and they begin to trust one another. They might even share information that they haven't told anyone before. This creates an atmosphere of safety and acceptance, which can be very healing.
In sexual relationships, it's often said that "the eyes are the window to the soul." They communicate desire, attraction, love, lust, affection, and tenderness. A glance can convey volumes about how we feel towards each other. During sex or foreplay, eye contact is essential. It helps build intimacy and connection by showing vulnerability and trust. By looking into your partner's eyes during sex, you show them that you're present and engaged. You're there with them, sharing the moment. This creates a feeling of closeness that goes beyond just physical pleasure.
The gaze can also transform isolation into mutual witness when dealing with trauma. Many survivors of abuse or assault feel alone in their pain. But when they meet another person who has had similar experiences, they realize they aren't alone. Their trauma isn't unique; someone else understands what happened. Through shared experiences and empathy, they can begin to heal together.
The gaze is a powerful tool for creating connection between two people. Whether in medical treatment, group therapy, or interpersonal relationships, it allows us to see each other as human beings with emotional needs. And this makes healing a shared act rather than something done alone.
How does the gaze transform isolation into mutual witness, making healing a shared act?
The gaze is the mental process through which individuals can connect with one another on an intimate level, transcending physical barriers of space and time. It involves not only sight but also empathy and understanding. When two people look at each other deeply, they are able to see beyond the surface and acknowledge their similarities and differences. This connection creates a sense of belonging and validation that facilitates healing by providing comfort and support.