Trauma bonding refers to an emotional attachment that develops between individuals who have experienced shared traumatic experiences together. This can occur when people feel powerless and helpless within their environment and rely on each other for support. Trauma bonding is especially common among those facing systemic oppression because they often face similar forms of discrimination, marginalization, and violence.
In this essay, I will explore how trauma bonding manifests among individuals facing shared systemic oppression.
It's important to understand what systemic oppression means. Systemic oppression refers to institutionalized practices, policies, and structures that benefit certain groups while harming others based on characteristics such as race, gender, class, religion, ability, and sexual orientation.
Black Americans have faced systemic racism in education, housing, employment, and healthcare since slavery ended in the United States. Indigenous people have faced systemic racism throughout history, including forced relocation and theft of land. LGBTQ+ individuals face systemic oppression in the form of discrimination and legal barriers to marriage, adoption, and military service. People with disabilities have faced systemic ableism through segregation and lack of accessibility. All these groups may experience trauma related to their identity or marginalization, which can lead to a sense of isolation and vulnerability.
When people facing systemic oppression come together, they may find comfort and solidarity in each other. They share a common understanding of their struggles and a commitment to fighting against injustice.
This relationship can become toxic if it becomes unhealthy and abusive. This is known as trauma bonding. Trauma bonds are formed when someone repeatedly experiences traumatic events with another person and forms an attachment to them despite the pain caused by those events. The traumatizing experiences create a sense of dependency and fear of abandonment, causing the individual to stay in the relationship even though it's harmful.
One example of how trauma bonding manifests among individuals facing shared systemic oppression is in romantic relationships. A woman who has experienced domestic violence within her home may turn to another survivor for support.
The relationship becomes emotionally abusive, but she stays because she feels like she has nowhere else to go. Another example is in activist movements where allies may become codependent on one another. An ally may feel guilty for not having experienced the same level of oppression as their friend and be unable to set boundaries. They may also rely on each other for validation and avoid addressing their own internalized biases.
Trauma bonding can have serious consequences for individuals facing systemic oppression. It can perpetuate cycles of abuse and keep individuals from seeking help or leaving unhealthy situations. It can also lead to burnout and disillusionment with the movement. To prevent trauma bonding, individuals should prioritize self-care, seek professional help, and build resilience through community-building and healing practices.
How does trauma bonding manifest among individuals facing shared systemic oppression?
In individuals experiencing systemic oppression, trauma bonding can occur when they become dependent on one another due to their shared experiences of marginalization, mistreatment, and disempowerment. This process often involves an unconscious pattern of attraction to, and reliance on, people who mirror their own struggles and beliefs about themselves as inferior or unworthy.