Strategies for Reducing Anxiety and Increasing Safety in Experimental Sexual Situations
The following strategies can help you feel more comfortable exploring your desires and boundaries without risking harm to yourself or others.
* **Be honest and upfront about your limits**. Before any activity, talk openly and directly about what you are willing and able to do. If possible, write down a list of hard and soft limits so there is no room for confusion later.
* **Use safe words**. These may be signals that indicate when something feels too intense, physically or emotionally, during an encounter. The safeword system also provides an easy way to stop unwanted behavior at any time.
* **Get consent before each stage**. Ask permission before touching, undressing, penetrating, exposing genitals, using sex toys, etc., even if you have previously agreed to other activities.
* **Practice self-care**. Eat well, exercise regularly, get enough sleep, take breaks as needed, avoid drugs and alcohol, and find ways to relieve stress outside of sexual situations.
* **Explore solo**. Masturbate or practice kinks with yourself first. This will give you experience and confidence before trying them out with someone else.
* **Set clear expectations**. Tell partners how long an encounter will last, if it's one-time only or recurring, who will leave afterward, and whether sex or intimacy is the goal. Establish ground rules like not recording or sharing private images without consent.
* **Communicate clearly**. Give feedback on what feels good or not, verbally or nonverbally. Use body language, facial expressions, sounds, or other cues to convey your desires. Respect others' boundaries even if they differ from yours.
* **Maintain awareness**. Notice changes in your physical state, including breath, heart rate, muscle tension, lubrication, erection/arousal level, and orgasm. Pay attention to your partner's reactions and responses too.
* **Keep safety equipment nearby**. Include condoms, lube, gloves, dental dams, and cleanup supplies for messes or injuries. Store these items out of sight until needed.
* **Check in periodically**. Ask about feelings and experiences throughout the interaction. Share any concerns or questions. Make sure both parties are still comfortable and enthusiastic.
* **Practice mindfulness**. Focus on sensations and emotions instead of outcome goals. Take deep breaths or pauses as needed. Accept that things may not go perfectly but can still be enjoyable anyway.
* **End respectfully**. Say thank you, hug or kiss gently, and part ways quietly. Avoid rushing off or making promises you might regret later.
What strategies effectively reduce anxiety and increase safety in experimental sexual situations?
Researchers have suggested several techniques that may be effective for reducing anxiety and increasing safety in experimental sexual situations. These include cognitive restructuring (rethinking negative thoughts), relaxation training (deep breathing exercises), exposure therapy (gradual exposure to potentially anxiety-inducing situations), mindfulness meditation, social support seeking (discussing feelings with trusted others), and distraction (focusing on non-sexual stimuli).