Sexual self-confidence is an important aspect of a healthy and fulfilling sex life. After experiencing embarrassment or shame about your sexual desires or fantasies, it can be difficult to regain your confidence and feel comfortable expressing yourself to others. However, there are steps you can take to rebuild your sexual confidence and improve communication with your partner. Here's how:
Step One: Identify Your Feelings
The first step towards rebuilding your sexual confidence is identifying why you felt embarrassed or ashamed in the first place. Was it because of something you did? Something someone else said or did? Were you just feeling shy? Once you have identified the root cause of your feelings, you can begin to work on understanding them and moving past them. It may help to talk to a therapist or counselor who specializes in helping people overcome sexual issues.
Step Two: Take Time for Self-Reflection
Taking time for self-reflection can be helpful in understanding your own values and boundaries when it comes to sex. Ask yourself questions like "What do I enjoy in bed?" "How often do I want to have sex?" and "What am I looking for from my partner?" This will help you become more comfortable discussing your needs with your partner and expressing what you want without fear of judgement.
Step Three: Communicate Effectively
Communication is key when it comes to building sexual confidence. Talk openly with your partner about what makes you feel comfortable and what turns you off. Don't assume that they know what you need - communicate it clearly and directly. If you're not sure how to bring up certain topics, try starting with phrases like "I've been thinking about ___ lately," or "I really enjoyed ___ last night." Being honest and direct with your partner can go a long way in building trust and intimacy.
Step Four: Practice Positive Self-Talk
Positive self-talk is an important tool in rebuilding sexual confidence. Start by telling yourself positive things every day - such as "I am worthy of love" or "I deserve pleasure." You can also practice affirmations before engaging in sexual activity with your partner. For example, say aloud something like "I am confident in myself and my sexuality" or "I am proud of who I am". The more you repeat these statements, the more you will believe them.
Step Five: Experiment with New Things
Try out new things in the bedroom! Explore different positions, toys, and fantasies. Be creative and take risks. It may be helpful to watch erotic videos together or read books on sex to get inspired. Remember, there's no right or wrong way to have sex - what matters most is that both partners are enjoying themselves. This can help build excitement and confidence in the bedroom.
By following these steps, you can start to rebuild your sexual confidence after experiencing embarrassment over sexual desires or fantasies. Remember to be patient and kind to yourself throughout the process - it takes time to heal from shame and embarrassment. With open communication, self-reflection, and experimentation, you can reclaim your sexual confidence and enjoy a healthy and fulfilling sex life.
How do I rebuild sexual confidence after embarrassment over sexual desires or fantasies?