When it comes to rebuilding sexual trust after trauma, betrayal, or emotional neglect, it can be a challenging process that requires patience, vulnerability, honesty, and open communication. The key is for both partners to work together towards building a safe space where they feel comfortable expressing their feelings and desires without fear of judgment or shame. Here are some steps you can take:
1) Understand Your Partner's Needs: Take time to understand your partner's needs, fears, and expectations regarding intimacy. Discuss what worked well before, what didn't work, and how you can improve. Be willing to compromise and listen to each other's perspectives.
2) Establish Ground Rules: Set boundaries around physical contact, such as no touching until permission has been given. Establish rules about privacy, such as avoiding snooping into personal spaces or devices. Create an agreement about disclosing sensitive topics like past experiences or fantasies.
3) Practice Honest Communication: Communicate openly and honestly about your feelings and desires. Use "I" statements instead of blaming, accusing, or making assumptions. Respond calmly when something upsets you. Speak up if you feel unsafe or uncomfortable.
4) Focus On Pleasure: Remember why you fell in love in the first place! Try new things or revisit old favorites. Experiment with different positions, locations, and sensory stimulation. Express appreciation and gratitude for each other's bodies and sexuality.
5) Seek Professional Help: If you are struggling with trauma or emotional neglect, consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor who specializes in relationships or sex therapy. They can provide guidance and support through this process.
Remember that rebuilding trust takes time and effort. Don't give up too quickly - trust is built slowly over time. By following these steps, you can create a safe space where both partners feel comfortable expressing their needs and desires, leading to deeper intimacy and a stronger connection.