Many individuals struggle to balance their work lives with their personal lives.
For individuals who have experienced traumatic events, this balancing act can be particularly challenging. One consequence of trauma is that it often leads to an increase in relational labor within a couple's relationship. Relational labor refers to all the tasks involved in maintaining a healthy relationship, such as communication, conflict resolution, and emotional support. When one partner takes on more of these responsibilities due to trauma, it can create emotional tension between them. This article will explore how couples manage the increased emotional tension that may arise when one partner must take on additional relational labor due to trauma.
Types of Relational Labor
Relational labor is divided into two categories - primary and secondary. Primary relational labor includes all the basic tasks required to sustain a relationship, such as listening, sharing feelings, expressing affection, and providing companionship. Secondary relational labor involves more advanced duties, such as managing finances, household chores, parenting, and other practical responsibilities. When a partner experiences trauma, they may become more focused on secondary relational labor, leaving less time and energy for primary relational labor.
If a person becomes the sole breadwinner after losing a job or experiencing financial hardships, they may spend most of their time working and less time communicating with their partner. This can lead to resentment and frustration in the relationship.
Communication
Open and honest communication is crucial for managing the emotional tension that arises from increased relational labor. Couples should talk openly about their expectations, needs, and desires regarding the division of relational labor. They should discuss ways to make sure both partners feel supported and appreciated. It's also important to acknowledge each other's feelings and work together to find solutions that meet everyone's needs.
This can be challenging when one partner is overwhelmed by secondary relational labor. In these cases, it's essential to set boundaries around how much time and energy can be spent on relational labor.
Compromise
Compromise is another way couples manage the emotional tension caused by additional relational labor. Both partners must be willing to compromise on their expectations and demands to ensure a healthy balance between personal and professional lives. Couples should consider taking turns assuming different roles in the relationship.
One partner might take on more secondary relational labor while the other focuses on primary relational labor. Alternatively, couples could split responsibilities evenly to avoid burnout. Regularly reevaluating and adjusting the balance of relational labor helps prevent resentment and conflict within the relationship.
How do couples manage the emotional tension that arises when the partner must take on additional relational labor due to trauma?
Couples typically deal with the added stress of one partner taking on extra relational labor by working together to divide the tasks fairly, communicating openly about their needs and concerns, seeking support from friends and family members, prioritizing self-care activities like exercise and relaxation techniques, and finding ways to rekindle intimacy through shared hobbies or date nights.