Sustaining Intimacy Under High-Risk Operations: The Mechanisms Used by Military Couples
When a couple is living through a situation where one partner has been deployed to a warzone, they may face difficulties that challenge their relationship. The military spouse who remains behind faces stress and anxiety caused by separation from their partner. On top of this, if their partner is serving under dangerous conditions, there may be feelings of guilt for not being able to fully support them while also dealing with the pressure of maintaining a strong bond without physical closeness.
It is possible for couples to sustain intimacy despite these challenges. There are several mechanisms that can help.
Communication
One key mechanism for sustaining intimacy is communication. Military couples must communicate frequently even when apart, which requires time management skills and an ability to adapt to different forms of communication like text messages or video calls. This way, both partners feel connected and supported despite geographical distance.
Military couples should practice active listening and be empathetic towards each other's perspectives. They need to understand what their partner is going through and how they might be feeling to build trust and intimacy.
Shared Values and Goals
Another important aspect of sustaining intimacy in a military relationship is sharing values and goals. This means having similar beliefs about family life, careers, finances, religion, and politics. It also means setting individual and shared goals for the future that align with those values. This creates common ground on which to build a strong foundation for intimacy.
Scheduling Time Together
Scheduling regular times to talk, write letters, video chat, or simply spend time together helps military couples stay close. Even if it's just 15 minutes per day, making sure you have some quality time set aside will make you feel more connected. It may involve watching a movie together over Skype, doing puzzles, or talking about your days. These scheduled times show commitment to one another and create anticipation for the next opportunity to connect.
Honesty
Honest conversations are essential for maintaining intimacy in any relationship. Military couples should not avoid difficult topics but rather discuss them openly. The challenges faced by military families can cause emotions like fear, anger, and resentment. Acknowledging these feelings and working through them together builds trust and vulnerability. Honesty also allows partners to address misunderstandings, miscommunications, or unrealistic expectations before they become bigger problems.
Physical Connection
Even when physically apart, military couples can find ways to connect sexually and emotionally. This might involve sending erotic messages or videos, planning sexual activities for when they reunite, or writing romantic notes. These small gestures help keep the spark alive and strengthen the bond between two people who care deeply about each other.
Support Network
Another important factor in sustaining intimacy is having a support network of family and friends. Both members of a military couple need people they can turn to for emotional support and guidance. They should be able to confide in others without feeling judged or criticized. Friends and family can provide an outside perspective on situations that might otherwise seem too personal or difficult to talk about with just their partner.
Military couples have many mechanisms at their disposal to sustain intimacy despite high-risk operations. Communication, shared values and goals, scheduling time together, honesty, and physical connection all play crucial roles. With patience, understanding, and commitment, these strategies will build a strong foundation for maintaining a healthy relationship no matter what life throws at it.
What mechanisms allow military couples to sustain intimacy despite exposure to high-risk or morally ambiguous operations?
A research paper by Schiraldi et al (2016) suggests that military couples may utilize several strategies to maintain intimacy even during difficult periods of deployment and combat experiences. These include open communication about their feelings, physical intimacy practices such as hugging and kissing, and sharing positive memories and experiences from past deployments.