Relationship resilience is the ability to maintain emotional connection and communication despite challenges or difficulties that may arise in a relationship. This is especially important for couples who face systemic discrimination or marginalization, such as racial or cultural minorities, LGBTQ+ individuals, people with disabilities, those experiencing poverty or homelessness, etc. Relational resilience can be facilitated through several strategies, including but not limited to the following:
1. Active Listening: The most effective way to build relational resilience is through active listening. When one partner actively listens to their partner's experiences and feelings, they show empathy and understanding, which helps create a safe space where both partners feel heard and understood. Active listening also encourages open communication and builds trust between partners. Couples should make time for regular check-ins where each partner takes turns talking about their day and expressing their thoughts and feelings.
2. Validation: It is essential to validate your partner's experiences and feelings when faced with systemic discrimination or marginalization. Let them know that you see their perspective and understand how it affects them. Validating someone means acknowledging their experiences without judgment or minimizing them.
If your partner shares an experience of being denied housing because of their race, say something like "I understand that must have been really difficult" instead of "That sounds terrible, but I don't think there's anything we can do about it."
3. Boundary Setting: It is vital to set healthy boundaries in any relationship, but particularly crucial for couples facing systemic discrimination or marginalization. This involves establishing clear expectations and limits regarding how much emotional labor each partner will contribute. It also includes setting boundaries around what kinds of conversations are acceptable and which ones may trigger trauma responses.
Avoid discussions surrounding microaggressions, discriminatory incidents, or other topics that could lead to conflict or hurt feelings.
4. Self-Care: Relational resilience requires taking care of yourself first. Prioritize self-care practices such as exercise, meditation, therapy, and hobbies to reduce stress and promote mental well-being. This not only benefits the individual but also strengthens relationships by increasing empathy and compassion between partners. Couples should make time for activities together, such as going on dates or exploring new things, to create a sense of connection and fun outside of their shared struggles.
5. Community Support: Building support networks outside of one's immediate family or couple can be highly beneficial for maintaining relational resilience. Seek out groups, organizations, or communities where you feel welcomed and valued. Join social justice movements, attend rallies or protests, or volunteer with local organizations working towards positive change. These actions help build community ties and provide opportunities for solidarity, empowerment, and social justice advocacy.
Building relational resilience when faced with systemic discrimination or marginalization is possible through active listening, validation, boundary setting, self-care, and community support. By prioritizing these strategies in your relationship, couples can create a strong foundation for navigating challenges while preserving emotional connection and communication.
What strategies facilitate relational resilience when faced with systemic discrimination or marginalization?
Relationship resilience is the ability of an individual to maintain strong relationships despite facing discrimination or marginalization. Research suggests that there are several strategies individuals can employ to cultivate relationship resilience, such as reframing negative experiences, establishing strong social support networks, developing self-awareness, focusing on positive experiences, engaging in activities that foster growth, practicing empathy, setting boundaries, building trust, and developing a sense of agency.