LGBT relationships that face frequent military deployments must navigate through a range of difficulties and challenges, including but not limited to distance, separation, uncertainty, stress, and potential trauma. In order for these relationships to remain healthy and strong, they need to have some degree of resilience. Resilience is defined as "the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or significant sources of stress" 1. There are many factors that can contribute to resilience in LGBT relationships facing frequent military deployments, such as trust, communication, emotional support, planning, flexibility, and mutual commitment.
Trust plays an important role in the ability of a relationship to weather difficult times. Trust can be built through openness, honesty, transparency, reliability, accountability, consistency, and dependability. When partners feel safe with each other and can rely on each other, it creates a solid foundation upon which they can build their relationship. This allows them to work through challenges together and helps them grow stronger as individuals and as a couple. Without trust, it is difficult for people to share vulnerable feelings and emotions without fear of rejection or betrayal.
Communication is essential in any relationship, but especially when one or both partners are frequently deployed. Partners who communicate effectively tend to have more successful relationships than those who do not. Communication involves listening, sharing thoughts and feelings, asking questions, negotiating differences, and resolving conflict. It also requires active listening skills like empathy, compassion, curiosity, respect, and appreciation. Couples should take time to check-in regularly and maintain regular contact while apart. They should be willing to share information about their experiences and perspectives during deployment, even if it means talking about things they would rather avoid.
Emotional support is crucial for LGBT couples in the face of deployment stress. This includes supporting each other emotionally and practically throughout the deployment process. Emotional support entails providing comfort, reassurance, validation, empathy, encouragement, and non-judgmental feedback. Practical support might include helping with household tasks, managing finances, caring for children, or simply being there for the partner. Couples must ensure that each person feels heard and understood. This can help them cope with stressors associated with deployments such as separation anxiety, loneliness, boredom, worry, and isolation.
Flexibility is an important factor in resilience because military life requires frequent change and adjustment. Being flexible allows couples to adapt to changes in routine, plans, expectations, schedules, roles, responsibilities, and priorities. Partners need to be open to new ideas, solutions, approaches, and compromises. They should have a plan for how they will handle different scenarios and communicate effectively when challenges arise. Flexible partners are better able to navigate the ups and downs of military life and find creative ways to overcome obstacles together.
Mutual commitment is necessary for relationships facing deployment. Both partners must be committed to maintaining the relationship despite difficulties. This means committing to working through issues, keeping communication lines open, prioritizing the relationship, staying connected, showing up for each other, and honoring agreements. Mutual commitment involves having shared goals, values, beliefs, interests, visions, and dreams that bind the couple together. It also requires willingness to make sacrifices, compromise, show gratitude, apologize, forgive, and repair harm.
LGBT relationships that face frequent military deployments require trust, communication, emotional support, flexibility, and mutual commitment to thrive. These factors contribute most to resilience by allowing partners to weather difficult times and grow stronger together. Without these key ingredients, relationships may become strained or even fail entirely. By focusing on building resilience, LGBT couples can maintain healthy, happy, and fulfilling relationships while navigating the unique challenges associated with military life.
What factors contribute most to resilience in LGBT relationships facing frequent military deployments?
Resilience in any relationship, including those of LGBT couples with one partner who is frequently deployed in the military, can be defined as "the ability to maintain high levels of positive functioning despite adversity. " This definition suggests that several factors may contribute to resilience in such relationships. Firstly, strong communication skills are crucial for maintaining emotional intimacy and connection while apart.