Sexual norms vary widely across different societies, cultures, and even individuals. Some cultures glorify and encourage sexual activity, especially for unmarried young people. Others condemn premarital sex altogether. Still others emphasize marriage and faithfulness to one partner. There are also many cultural differences regarding how women and men behave in public or private, their roles within families, and their ability to control reproduction. One such difference is that some cultures place an importance on virginity while others do not. This article explores what it means to be a virgin, why this varies so much between places and times, and what consequences exist for violating virginity rules.
Virginity has been viewed differently across time and space. In early Christianity, celibacy was praised, and even today, some religious groups still emphasize chastity until marriage. The Roman Empire believed that men should have sex before marriage but women should remain pure. Hinduism encourages lifelong abstinence for both genders, yet Islam views sex as necessary for procreation after marriage. In ancient Greece, it was thought best to avoid sex until old age. Medieval European monarchs would test potential brides by breaking glass or touching them with hot iron to see if they were 'pure'. Chinese history records women who kept themselves "untouched" by society. Virginity symbolizes innocence and purity in many cultures, though there can also be economic benefits to keeping oneself 'unspoiled' before marriage.
In parts of Africa, South America, Europe, and Asia, having sex outside marriage is frowned upon and often illegal. Marriage is seen as the safest way to ensure family stability. Women may be expected to wait until married because men will pay more attention to unmarried girls. Other cultures do not see virginity as important; a 2018 study showed only about half of Americans believe virginity should matter at all. It is unclear how widely people are actually virgins—a 2019 survey found most young adults had premarital sex but did not consider themselves impure.
Both male and female virgins may face consequences for losing their virginity before marriage. Girls may lose status within their community, be labeled 'damaged goods', and struggle to find a husband. Men may be viewed as unable to control themselves, especially if they fail to marry the woman with whom they had sex. However, some societies allow men multiple wives or polygamy, making this less serious.
Some countries have laws criminalizing premarital sex, including Saudi Arabia and Pakistan. In India, victims of rape can sometimes accuse their rapists of ruining their reputation and demand financial compensation. These strict rules may make it difficult to access birth control, education on safe sex, and emergency contraception, leading to unwanted pregnancies and dangerous abortions.
Overall, there are many cultural differences in what constitutes virginity and whether that matters. While some believe purity is paramount, others view sexual activity as healthy and normal, even beneficial to society. The stigma around sex outside marriage remains strong despite global trends towards liberalism, equality, and tolerance.
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