The denial of pleasure is often seen as a way to maintain social order and protect society from chaos.
This view ignores the potential for pleasure itself to be used as a tool for liberation and resistance against oppressive power structures. In this essay, I will explore how pleasure can be seen as an inherited language of safety, which allows individuals to navigate social norms while still expressing their own desires.
Denying Pleasure as Safety:
Throughout history, societies have imposed strict rules around sex, gender, and sexuality to control behavior. These rules are often justified by appeals to safety, morality, and tradition.
Women who engage in sexual activity outside of marriage may be shamed or punished because they are seen as promiscuous. Similarly, men who do not conform to traditional masculinity may be viewed as weak or unmanly. By denying these individuals access to pleasure, societies hope to keep them within acceptable boundaries. This approach assumes that controlling people's bodies and desires will lead to greater overall stability.
Denying pleasure can also create its own set of problems. People who feel guilty about their desires may resort to self-harm or other destructive behaviors. They may become trapped in cycles of shame and secrecy that prevent them from finding true intimacy with others. Denying pleasure can also perpetuate harmful stereotypes about certain groups, such as LGBTQ+ individuals or people of color. Instead of creating safety, it reinforces existing power dynamics and marginalizes those who challenge them.
Inherited Language of Safety:
To understand the relationship between denial and safety, we must look at how language shapes our worldview. Many taboo words and phrases contain implicit messages about what is appropriate or allowed in a given context.
Slang terms like "hoe" or "slut" are used to describe promiscuous women, but they also carry connotations of disrespect and objectification. Men who use them to insult women are perpetuating a culture of misogyny that denies women agency over their own bodies. In contrast, positive words like "queer" or "pansexual" can be reclaimed by members of those communities to take back power and define themselves on their own terms.
Pleasure itself can serve as an inherited language of safety when it is used to express defiance against oppressive systems.
People of color may embrace sexuality as a way to claim ownership over their bodies and resist white supremacy. By reclaiming pleasure, these individuals assert their right to autonomy and dignity. Similarly, queer individuals may use sex as a tool for liberation and self-discovery, challenging heteronormative assumptions about gender and sexuality. These acts of resistance show that pleasure can be used as a form of rebellion against dominant narratives.
The denial of pleasure has long been seen as necessary for social order, but this view ignores its potential to create harmful stereotypes and prevent authentic intimacy. Instead, we should view pleasure as an inherent part of human nature that deserves recognition and respect. By embracing the complexity of our desires, we can break down harmful power structures and create a more just world for all.