Emotional resilience is an individual's ability to adapt positively to challenging situations without losing motivation, optimism, and purpose. Couples are exposed to various types of stress during their relationship life, such as work demands, financial difficulties, family conflicts, health issues, and others. When these challenges become severe, they may lead to negative effects on both partners' mental and physical health and can result in reduced sexual satisfaction. Sexual dissatisfaction refers to a couple's inability to fulfill each other's sexual needs, which often leads to frustration, anger, jealousy, and even infidelity. It is believed that emotional resilience could buffer couples against sexual dissatisfaction caused by external stressors. This hypothesis has been confirmed through several studies, suggesting that emotionally resilient individuals tend to maintain high levels of sexual satisfaction despite facing challenging situations.
It is still unclear how this mechanism works. This article will explore the concept of emotional resilience and its role in improving sexual satisfaction among couples.
Emotional resilience involves a set of psychological skills and characteristics that enable one to overcome negative feelings, thoughts, or behaviors that might arise from adverse events. Individuals who possess these traits can manage stressful conditions better than those who do not have them. They typically perceive themselves as competent, confident, flexible, and capable of overcoming obstacles.
Resilient people develop strategies to deal with stressful situations, such as problem-solving, self-reflection, planning, support seeking, social engagement, and positive reframing. These qualities help them adapt quickly to unfavorable circumstances while preserving their psychological well-being and preventing mental disorders like depression, anxiety, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). In turn, they are less likely to experience sexual problems in their relationships, such as decreased desire, arousal, or pleasure, communication difficulties, or conflicts about sex.
The effectiveness of emotional resilience on sexual satisfaction was initially demonstrated in a study conducted by Dutton et al. (2016) that examined 473 married individuals over four years. The results showed that higher levels of resilience were positively associated with lower risk of infidelity, which is often caused by sexual dissatisfaction. Another research compared 859 couples and found that partners with high resilience had more satisfying sexual lives than those without this quality.
Kashdan & Fincham (2008) investigated the impact of resilience on relationship outcomes, including intimacy, conflict resolution, and partner support, concluding that emotionally resilient people experience greater marital satisfaction and fewer relationship problems.
It is not clear whether resilience improves sexual satisfaction directly or indirectly through its association with other variables like communication skills or relationship quality.
Another factor that contributes to sexual satisfaction is sexual behaviors, attitudes, and practices. Resilient people tend to develop healthy patterns of thinking and acting regarding sexuality, such as openness, honesty, exploration, safety, trust, and communication.
They are more comfortable discussing their desires, preferences, concerns, and boundaries with their partners. They also learn how to satisfy each other's needs, try new positions or techniques, experiment with different locations and situations, and avoid negative influences like pornography or affairs. Emotionally resilient couples have a solid emotional connection and communicate effectively about sex, leading to increased arousal, pleasure, and fulfillment. In addition, they can handle conflicts constructively and resolve them quickly, enhancing their bond and mutual respect.
Emotional resilience plays an essential role in protecting couples from external stressors and maintaining high levels of sexual satisfaction. It helps individuals deal with challenges positively by developing adaptive psychological traits and coping strategies. These qualities enable them to preserve their mental health and create healthier relationships. Therefore, promoting emotional resilience among couples could be a valuable tool for improving sexual life, intimacy, and overall relationship happiness.
In what ways does emotional resilience buffer couples against sexual dissatisfaction caused by external stress?
Research has found that emotional resilience can help individuals cope with negative experiences related to sex life, including but not limited to sexual dissatisfaction (Zywica et al. , 2019). This means that when partners experience stressors outside of their relationship, they are more likely to turn towards each other for support and find ways to improve their intimate lives together.