Sexual identity is often perceived to be a private matter that does not affect others unless it becomes public.
Recent research suggests otherwise; when an individual rejects their own sexual orientation, they experience negative effects on their mental health, wellbeing, and personal development. Self-rejection manifests through repressed or denied thoughts, feelings, and behaviors related to one's true sexual orientation. This phenomenon causes distress, isolation, low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, fear of rejection, shame, guilt, and confusion about who they are. Self-rejection can lead to denial of one's sexual identity, which may result in a lack of emotional intimacy and fulfillment in interpersonal relationships.
Cognitive mechanisms include internalized homophobia, cognitive dissonance, negative attitudes towards same-sex attraction, and social norms. Emotional mechanisms include suppressed emotions such as anger, sadness, frustration, and pain caused by being unable to express one's sexuality freely. Social mechanisms involve external pressure from family members, peers, religion, culture, community, and society, which may lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness. Philosophical reflection helps individuals question their beliefs, values, and assumptions regarding sexual identity and explore alternative perspectives. Therapeutic approaches such as CBT and EMDR help individuals challenge unhelpful thoughts and beliefs, process emotions, and integrate their sexuality into their overall sense of self.
By integrating one's sexuality, individuals can achieve greater acceptance, self-love, happiness, fulfillment, confidence, and freedom. It involves recognizing that there is no right or wrong way to be queer; embracing oneself fully without shame or judgment, regardless of societal expectations; learning how to manage conflicting emotions and desires; and engaging with the world openly and authentically. With patience, support, and effort, anyone can overcome self-rejection and live a more authentic life.
What cognitive, emotional, and social mechanisms underlie self-rejection of sexual orientation, and how can philosophical reflection and therapeutic approaches facilitate integration?
Self-rejection is an integral part of human nature that is shaped by various factors including cultural contexts, personal experiences, and mental health issues. The concept encompasses a range of behaviors such as dissociation from one's identity, avoidance of certain groups, and internalized homophobia (Drabble & Higgins, 2013).