The term "emotional labor" refers to the effort that individuals make to control their feelings, beliefs, and behaviors to comply with social expectations. In the context of military service, emotional labor often involves hiding one's fears, anxieties, and emotions from loved ones while performing duties under stressful conditions. Couples who are involved in military service may experience significant challenges managing their emotional labor due to the unique demands placed upon them. These challenges can include the need to maintain secrecy, the potential for separation, and the pressure to appear strong and unemotional. This article will discuss strategies that couples can use to manage emotional labor in this context.
One strategy is open communication. Open communication allows partners to express their needs, concerns, and experiences without fear of judgment or reprisal. It also enables them to share their worries and fears and gain support from each other. Couples should create a safe space where they feel comfortable talking about anything related to their relationship. They should avoid criticizing or attacking each other and focus instead on listening actively and empathetically. Active listening means paying attention to what the partner says without interrupting or offering solutions. Empathy means understanding the partner's perspective and feelings without judging them.
Another strategy is prioritizing self-care. Self-care involves taking care of one's physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Couples can engage in regular exercise, meditation, journaling, or therapy to reduce stress and improve their mood. They can also practice mindfulness, which involves being present in the moment and focusing on their breath, body sensations, thoughts, and emotions. Mindfulness helps individuals become more aware of their emotions and develop better coping skills.
Couples can seek social support from friends, family members, or community groups who understand military life.
A third strategy is setting boundaries. Boundaries involve establishing clear limits on what is acceptable behavior in the relationship.
Couples may decide not to discuss work-related issues at home or limit contact with people outside the relationship. Setting boundaries requires respect for each other's needs, interests, and limitations. The couple must agree on these rules and enforce them consistently. This approach reduces tension and conflict by providing structure and predictability.
Couples should recognize that emotional labor is normal in military service. Military spouses may experience a range of emotions, including anxiety, fear, anger, guilt, and sadness. It is essential to acknowledge these emotions rather than suppressing them or blaming the other person. Partners can validate each other's feelings by acknowledging their validity and offering understanding and compassion. They can also remind themselves that emotions are temporary and will pass with time.
Managing emotional labor during military service requires effort and commitment from both partners. Open communication, self-care, boundary setting, and validation can help couples navigate this challenging context. By implementing these strategies, couples can maintain healthy relationships, reduce stress, and improve their overall well-being.
What strategies help couples manage emotional labor in the context of military service?
Emotional labor is defined as the effort required by an individual to regulate their expression of feelings to fit cultural norms and expectations (Aronson & Patron, 2018). It involves managing one's emotions for social performance purposes, such as suppressing or concealing negative emotions when interacting with others (Stryker et al. , 2019).