Dependency is a state where one person relies on another for their needs, wants, or desires. This can be physical, emotional, financial, spiritual, or even psychological. In some cases, it becomes difficult to distinguish whether this reliance is motivated by intimacy or necessity. When people are dependent on each other for something vital like food, shelter, or clothing, they may not think about it critically but instead focus on what they need at that moment. They may feel like they have no choice but to stay in an unhealthy relationship because they have nowhere else to go.
When there is too much dependency between partners, it becomes impossible to maintain boundaries and healthy communication. It also blurs the line between intimacy and survival, making it challenging to tell whether someone loves you or just uses you.
In romantic relationships, dependency often happens due to fear of being alone or lack of self-esteem. Someone may become dependent on their partner out of love, but it eventually turns into codependency. Both partners end up sacrificing themselves for the sake of the other's happiness. This can lead to resentment, control, manipulation, and abuse. Dependency can cause people to lose sight of who they are as individuals and forget how to take care of themselves independently. It can also make them more vulnerable to emotional blackmail or exploitation. The difference between intimacy and survival becomes unclear, and it becomes harder to determine if the relationship is healthy or not.
In friendships, dependency can happen when one person relies on the other for validation, attention, or approval. One person might seek emotional support from a friend while ignoring their own needs. If this dependency continues, the friendship might become unbalanced, with one person giving more than the other. Eventually, it becomes difficult to tell if the relationship is genuine or based on mutual benefits. When dependency is present, it becomes hard to distinguish between true companionship and using each other.
Dependency in family ties is common, especially among parents and children. Parents rely on their children emotionally, financially, or physically. Children need their parents to provide for them until they reach adulthood, which creates an imbalance of power.
Some parents may start feeling like they cannot let go because they have invested so much time and energy in raising their kids. As adults, children may still depend on their parents for financial aid or emotional support. Some even stay in toxic relationships out of obligation, despite feeling unhappy or unfulfilled. Without boundaries and self-esteem, it's impossible to tell whether you love your family members or just feel obligated towards them.
To avoid dependency blurring intimacy and survival, people should focus on building self-sufficiency. They should learn how to take care of themselves independently, set boundaries, and communicate openly with their partners or friends. It's important to remember that intimacy involves emotional closeness, trust, and understanding, while survival means meeting essential needs without relying on anyone else. By recognizing these differences, people can maintain healthy relationships and avoid codependent patterns.
How does dependency blur distinction between intimacy and survival?
The concept of dependency can have significant implications on the ability to distinguish between intimacy and survival as it relates to interpersonal relationships. Dependency is defined as "the state of relying on someone else for support or assistance" (Oxford Languages). When individuals become dependent on another person for their basic needs, such as food, shelter, and security, they may begin to conflate these necessities with the emotional connection that comes from intimate relationships.