Cognitive reassessment is the process through which an individual evaluates their goals and actions based on new information. This can occur when someone experiences a setback or failure, such as being rejected for a job interview or losing a competition. It can also happen after a major life event, like getting married or having a child.
Research suggests that cognitive reassessment may be triggered by sexual rejection as well.
Sexual rejection occurs when someone rejects another person's romantic advances or sexual desires. This can take many forms, from outright refusal to ignoring messages to avoiding physical contact. In some cases, it may be mutually agreed upon, but it can still have a significant impact on both parties involved. When this happens, the person who was rejected may experience negative emotions like shame, embarrassment, and anxiety. They may also question their worthiness and attractiveness. As a result, they may begin to question whether pursuing intimacy is even worthwhile at all.
Imagine Jane approaches John and asks him out on a date. He turns her down, saying he doesn't think they would be a good match. Jane may feel hurt and humiliated, wondering what she did wrong. She may start to doubt herself and wonder if she will ever find someone else. This leads her to consider whether she should continue pursuing relationships altogether.
John may feel relieved that he avoided an uncomfortable situation, but he may also feel guilty about hurting Jane's feelings. He may begin to question his own attractiveness and wonder if there is something wrong with him. He may even start to question his ability to form meaningful connections in general.
In either case, these negative emotions can lead to a cognitive reassessment of relational goals. The individual may begin to evaluate their priorities and decide whether intimacy is truly important to them. They may conclude that it isn't, leading them to shift their focus elsewhere. Or they may decide to try harder next time or seek out different types of partnerships.
It's important to note that not everyone experiences sexual rejection in the same way. Some people may brush off the rejection as no big deal, while others may become obsessed with it for weeks or months afterward.
Research suggests that most people do experience some level of negative emotion after being rejected sexually, which can trigger cognitive reassessment.
Sexual rejection can have a significant impact on our mental health and relationship goals. It's crucial to recognize this and support those who are experiencing it by providing empathy and understanding. We can also work to prevent rejections by communicating effectively and honestly with potential partners. And when rejection does happen, we can use it as an opportunity to reflect on what we want and need from relationships going forward.
Can sexual rejection trigger cognitive reassessment of relational goals?
"While some individuals may experience sexual rejection as a motivator for changing their dating strategies and relationship goals, there is no evidence that it necessarily triggers a specific cognitive process of reassessing those goals.