Being "out" refers to self-identifying publicly and openly with one's sexual orientation and/or gender identity. In this essay, I will explore how such outness affects romantic relationship satisfaction and security. First, let us consider what factors determine whether someone feels safe enough to be out to their partner(s) or not. Then, we will examine the impact that coming out has on relationship dynamics.
I will present evidence-based strategies for increasing relational satisfaction and safety while being out.
Factors Determining Whether Someone Feels Safe Enough to Be Out to Their Partner(s) or Not
The decision to come out is highly personal, influenced by many different factors, including societal attitudes towards LGBTQ+ individuals, individual experiences with rejection, discrimination, violence, family support or lack thereof, and the general environment where one lives or works. Individuals who feel threatened may remain closeted despite wanting to be out due to fear of negative consequences.
Outness can also enhance relational satisfaction as it allows partners to express themselves freely without worrying about hiding their true selves from each other.
Coming Out Has Impact on Relationship Dynamics
Outness in a relationship means that both parties know and accept their partner's sexual orientation and/or gender identity. This can lead to greater intimacy, emotional connection, trust, and mutual understanding. Outness can also make it easier to navigate disagreements and conflicts since there are fewer secrets and less need to hide information. On the downside, some people experience jealousy, distrust, or even rejection when their partner comes out to them. Others struggle to reconcile their own identity with the reality of their partner's orientation or gender identity.
How much of an impact outness has on relationships depends on many factors such as social norms, communication patterns, personality traits, relationship history, and shared values.
Evidence-Based Strategies for Increasing Relational Satisfaction While Being Out
Here are some evidence-based strategies for increasing relational satisfaction while being openly gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer, or non-binary: 1. Engage in honest and respectful conversations with your partner(s) about what outness means to you. Discuss potential challenges and concerns openly before coming out. 2. Seek support from friends, family members, therapists, or LGBTQ+ communities who share similar experiences. 3. Educate yourself about queer identities and issues to gain a deeper understanding of the complexities involved. 4. Practice self-compassion and empathy towards those who may not be immediately accepting or supportive of your decision. 5. Work on building resilience against negative attitudes and behaviors by focusing on positive self-talk, mindfulness, exercise, and other healthy coping mechanisms.
How does the experience of being “out” affect relational satisfaction and security?
The experience of "being out" can have varying effects on relational satisfaction and security depending on various factors such as the individual's cultural context, relationship dynamics, and personal experiences with coming out. In general, however, research suggests that individuals who are open about their sexual orientation or gender identity may feel more secure and satisfied in their relationships due to increased authenticity, acceptance, and support from others.