The concept of "proper parenting" is deeply rooted in traditional values and expectations that have been passed down through generations. These norms often reflect societal beliefs about what it means to be a good parent, which includes instilling certain behaviors and attitudes in children from an early age.
These norms can also reinforce heteronormative moral hierarchies, perpetuating harmful stereotypes and discrimination against LGBTQ+ individuals and families. In this article, I will explore how societal narratives about proper parenting contribute to the normalization of heteronormativity and the exclusion of non-traditional family structures, and offer recommendations for challenging these norms.
The Importance of Societal Narratives
Society's expectations about "proper parenting" are shaped by cultural and historical factors that dictate what is considered acceptable behavior and attitude towards raising children. This includes everything from the type of language used to describe parents and their relationship with their children, to the gender roles assigned to each parent and the activities they engage in together. While some aspects of these norms may seem harmless, they ultimately serve to reinforce societal beliefs about what is deemed appropriate and desirable when it comes to parenthood.
The use of gender-specific terms like "mommy" and "daddy" can reinforce the idea that only women should take on primary caregiving roles, while men should primarily work outside the home. Similarly, the concept of the nuclear family - a married man and woman living with their biological children - is often seen as the ideal, leading to exclusion of other types of family structures such as single-parent households or blended families. By continuously reinforcing these ideas, we are creating an environment where non-heterosexual families are not only excluded but also stigmatized and marginalized.
How Heteronormative Moral Hierarchies Are Reinforced
By perpetuating these narratives, society is sending a message to LGBTQ+ individuals and families that they do not fit into the traditional mold of proper parenting. This can lead to feelings of isolation, rejection, and even discrimination.
Same-sex couples who adopt children may face challenges finding acceptance within their communities, as well as struggling to find resources and support for their unique needs as parents.
Transgender parents may experience difficulty navigating legal issues related to custody and visitation rights due to antiquated laws that fail to recognize their identity.
Heteronormativity can be harmful in the way it limits individual expression and freedom. By limiting our understanding of what constitutes "proper parenting," we are restricting the ways in which people can express themselves and explore their relationships.
Polyamorous families or those practicing open relationships may feel pressured to hide their arrangements out of fear of judgment or discrimination. This ultimately serves to silence voices and prevent meaningful conversations about diverse family structures.
Challenging Societal Narratives
To challenge societal narratives about proper parenting, we must first acknowledge and address the ways in which they reinforce heteronormativity. This requires an open dialogue about the impact of these norms on individuals and families, and a willingness to embrace diverse perspectives and experiences. One way to do this is by promoting inclusive language, such as using gender-neutral terms like "parent" or "caregiver." We can also advocate for policies that protect the rights of LGBTQ+ families, such as expanding adoption laws and offering resources for non-traditional caregivers.
We need to recognize the importance of representation and visibility in media. When we see diverse family structures represented positively, we are normalizing them and creating a more inclusive society. This can include books, TV shows, movies, and other forms of popular culture that depict families with diverse makeups, including same-sex couples, transgender parents, blended families, and more.
We should encourage discussions around sexuality and intimacy within parenting. By allowing parents to explore their own identities and relationships without shame or judgement, we create a safer space for all families to thrive. This includes teaching children about consent, body autonomy, and healthy communication from an early age, regardless of their family structure.
The way we talk about "proper parenting" shapes our understanding of what is acceptable and desirable when it comes to raising children.
By perpetuating societal narratives that reflect traditional values and expectations, we are reinforcing heteronormative moral hierarchies and excluding non-traditional families. To challenge these norms, we must embrace diversity, promote inclusivity, and advocate for policies that protect all families.
How do societal narratives about “proper parenting” reinforce heteronormative moral hierarchies?
Societal narratives about “proper parenting” tend to reinforce heteronormative moral hierarchies by promoting traditional gender roles and imposing a strict binary between masculinity and femininity. The normative expectation is that men should be the breadwinners and providers for their families while women are responsible for childcare and domestic duties. This creates a hierarchy where men are valued more highly than women and leads to inequality in the home.