What is "post-sex closeness"? Post-sex closeness refers to the feelings of emotional connection, comfort, and safety that partners may experience after having sex. It can involve cuddling, talking, holding hands, or simply lying next to each other in silence. These moments can be an important part of building intimacy and trust within a relationship.
For some people who have experienced trauma in their past, post-sex closeness can trigger memories or emotions related to their trauma and cause them to avoid this type of physical and emotional intimacy. In this article, we will explore how trauma can manifest in avoidance of post-sex closeness and what steps couples can take to overcome these challenges.
Trauma can come in many forms, including physical, emotional, or psychological abuse, neglect, or exposure to violence. When someone experiences trauma, it can change their brain chemistry, making them more sensitive to stress and anxiety. This heightened sensitivity can lead them to react negatively to certain situations, such as post-sex closeness.
If someone was sexually assaulted in the past, they might feel uncomfortable with the vulnerability of being physically close to another person after sex. They may also fear rejection or abandonment, which could make them less likely to engage in post-sex closeness.
Avoidance of post-sex closeness can take many different forms. Someone with trauma may leave immediately after sex without any explanation or excuse. Others may become distant or cold towards their partner during or after sex. Still others may go into denial about the significance of post-sex closeness and act like everything is normal when it's not. Whatever the form of avoidance, it can be harmful to relationships and intimacy over time.
To address post-sex closeness avoidance, it's important for partners to communicate openly and honestly with each other. It's crucial for one partner to ask questions and express their feelings in a nonjudgmental way while listening attentively to their partner's response. Couples should work together to create a safe space where both people feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings. This can involve setting boundaries around what kinds of touch and communication are acceptable during post-sex closeness and establishing a routine that works for both parties.
Couples therapy can also be helpful for addressing trauma and building trust in a relationship. A trained therapist can provide guidance and support while helping couples develop healthy communication skills and coping mechanisms. In some cases, medication or cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) may also be recommended to help manage symptoms related to trauma.
Post-sex closeness is an essential part of building intimacy within a relationship.
Trauma can make this difficult for some people. By communicating openly, working together as a team, and seeking professional help when needed, couples can overcome these challenges and build stronger connections with each other.
How does trauma manifest in avoidance of post-sex closeness?
Trauma can cause a person to develop a variety of coping mechanisms to deal with their negative experiences, including avoiding intimacy and closeness after sex. This can be due to feelings of shame, guilt, or fear associated with the traumatic event that makes them feel uncomfortable being vulnerable and open with others.