Survivors of sexual trauma face unique challenges when it comes to developing healthy strategies for intimacy and sexual agency. Many survivors struggle with trust issues, fear of rejection, and difficulties in communication. These factors can make it difficult to navigate intimate relationships and create a sense of powerlessness around their sexual desires.
There are ways that survivors can regain control over their sexuality and work towards feeling empowered in intimate situations.
Building Trust
One strategy for building trust is to take small steps towards intimacy.
Starting with nonsexual touching such as holding hands or cuddling before moving onto more physical activities can help build comfort and familiarity. This allows both partners to get to know each other's boundaries and desires without jumping straight into intercourse. It also allows time to establish trust and feel safe enough to explore further. Another strategy is to be open and honest about one's needs, wants, and concerns regarding sex. Being vulnerable and communicating openly can help create a space where both partners feel heard and understood.
Practicing Self-Care
Practicing self-care is essential for all individuals, but particularly important for survivors who may have experienced traumatic experiences that affect their ability to connect with others. Taking care of oneself physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually helps ensure that one has enough energy and strength to engage in healthy relationships. This includes eating nutritious foods, getting regular exercise, practicing mindfulness or meditation, and connecting with supportive friends or family members.
Survivors should prioritize hobbies, interests, and passions outside of relationships that bring them joy and fulfillment.
Setting Boundaries
Setting clear boundaries around what feels comfortable and what does not is crucial for maintaining sexual agency. Survivors should communicate their boundaries clearly and firmly to their partner(s). This means saying "no" when something doesn't feel right or comfortable, even if it means ending the encounter prematurely. It also means respectfully explaining why certain acts are off-limits and expressing gratitude when those limits are honored.
Setting clear boundaries creates an environment where both partners can feel secure and supported in exploring their desires while respecting each other's needs and limits.
How do survivors of sexual trauma develop strategies to maintain sexual agency while navigating intimacy?
Survivors of sexual trauma are individuals who have experienced some form of unwanted sexual contact that has led to long-lasting effects on their mental and emotional health. These experiences can include rape, sexual abuse, or any other type of non-consensual sexual encounter. As a result, many survivors struggle with feelings of fear, shame, guilt, and self-blame, which often lead to difficulties in trusting others and engaging in intimate relationships.