Oxytocin is often referred to as the "cuddle hormone" because it is released during close contact between people. It has been shown to be involved in creating feelings of closeness, bonding, and attachment, particularly between mothers and their children, but also between romantic partners. Research has found that oxytocin plays an important role in helping individuals form social bonds, including romantic ones. This means that when someone experiences betrayal in a relationship, they may feel more hurt than they would have if they had never developed such strong ties with their partner in the first place. In other words, the depth of the relationship can intensify the pain felt after a breakup or infidelity.
One study conducted by researchers at the University of Virginia showed that oxytocin was linked to increased trust between strangers who were playing a game together. The participants were randomly assigned to either receive oxytocin or a placebo before playing a cooperative game where they needed to work together to earn money. Those who received oxytocin reported feeling more trust towards their partner and exhibited more generous behavior towards them compared to those who did not receive the hormone.
Another study published in the journal Neuron looked at how oxytocin affected monogamous voles' (a type of rodent) response to infidelity. They found that when one vole cheated on its partner, the other vole experienced greater distress than if there was no betrayal at all. This suggests that the strength of the bond between the two animals played a major role in determining the intensity of their response to infidelity.
When it comes to human relationships, the same appears to be true. A 2014 study published in the journal Emotion found that people who were in secure relationships were less likely to experience negative emotions like anxiety and depression following a breakup compared to those in insecure ones. This is because those in secure relationships had higher levels of oxytocin, which may have made it easier for them to move on from the relationship without experiencing such intense feelings of hurt.
In addition to affecting trust and attachment, oxytocin has also been linked to sexual arousal and satisfaction. One study conducted by researchers at the University of Florida showed that men with higher levels of oxytocin in their blood were more likely to report having sexually satisfying experiences than those with lower levels. Oxytocin may help create an atmosphere of intimacy during sexual encounters, making couples feel closer and more connected.
However, this can also make betrayal even more painful after intimacy. When someone cheats on their partner, they are not only breaking the trust that exists in the relationship but also violating the very thing that makes the relationship special - physical closeness. As a result, the pain felt after infidelity can be more intense than if there hadn't been as much connection beforehand.
All of these findings suggest that oxytocin plays a critical role in fostering both trust and intimacy in close relationships. Without the release of oxytocin, individuals would not be able to form strong bonds or develop feelings of love and attachment. However, when those ties are broken due to infidelity or other forms of betrayal, the resulting pain can be magnified due to the strength of the bond formed through oxytocin.