Online intimacy scripts are written instructions that detail how people should behave in their romantic lives. They may describe what topics to discuss, how often to text or call, when to meet up, and even the type of activities to pursue together. While these can be helpful for some people, they can also lead to unhealthy relationship patterns if followed too closely. This is because they tend to encourage unrealistic expectations about relationships, which can cause strain and unhappiness in real life.
One way online intimacy scripts can foster unrealistic comparisons is by setting the bar too high. Many scripts suggest acting like a perfect partner, which is impossible in reality. This can make someone feel bad when their partner doesn't live up to these standards. It can also create pressure to perform certain actions, like sending expensive gifts or planning elaborate dates, that aren't practical or affordable for everyone.
Another issue is that online intimacy scripts don't take into account individual differences between partners.
One person might enjoy spending time apart while another wants constant contact. One script might say to talk all day every day, but this isn't feasible for two busy professionals who work from home. Trying to follow such a script can lead to resentment and frustration in an otherwise healthy relationship.
Online intimacy scripts tend to idealize relationships. They often portray them as always going smoothly, with minimal conflict and lots of passionate moments. In reality, any relationship involves compromise and effort to resolve disagreements. By following scripts without considering each other's needs and limitations, couples may end up feeling disappointed and unsatisfied with their own lives.
To avoid these problems, try being more flexible with your expectations. Don't assume you need to follow a specific script to have a good relationship. Instead, focus on finding someone you connect with and enjoy spending time together. Be open about what you want and need, and be willing to discuss issues when they arise. And remember that no relationship will ever be perfect - it takes hard work to keep it strong and satisfying over the long term.
How does exposure to online intimacy scripts foster unrealistic comparisons in offline relationships?
Researchers have found that people who are exposed to online intimacy scripts often develop unrealistic expectations about their romantic partnerships. These individuals may compare themselves to the characters they see on social media and find their real-life partners lacking in comparison. This can lead to feelings of disappointment, dissatisfaction, and frustration. The idealized images seen online can also create an unattainable standard for relationships, making it difficult to meet those high standards in reality.