The inclusion of openly gay men and women has become more commonplace in every branch of the military since the repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell.
Even though this policy change has been implemented for several years now, there are still many challenges faced by these individuals, particularly when it comes to their romantic lives. In recent research published in JAMA Psychiatry, 41% of LGBT service members reported that they had experienced discrimination based on their sexual orientation within the last year alone.
Same-sex couples were less likely than heterosexual couples to be able to live together on base, which can lead to feelings of isolation and disconnection from one another.
The Challenge of Reconciliation
For LGBT service members, the reconciliation of professional identity with personal intimacy needs and relational desires can be incredibly difficult due to various factors. One major challenge is the potential for discrimination and harassment based on sexual orientation or gender identity. This can make finding someone who understands and accepts them as they are difficult, leading to loneliness and a lack of emotional support. Another challenge is the separation between partners during deployment or long periods away from home, which can put strain on relationships and make maintaining physical intimacy even harder.
Cultural norms surrounding masculinity and femininity may dictate that being outwardly expressive about sexuality or desire for intimacy is unacceptable, making it challenging for LGBT service members to find fulfillment in their relationships.
Strategies for Reconciliation
Despite these challenges, there are strategies that LGBT service members can use to help reconcile their professional identities with their personal intimacy needs and relational desires. First, they should seek out communities of like-minded individuals where they feel safe and accepted. This could mean joining an online forum or attending events hosted by local LGBT organizations. Second, they should communicate openly and honestly with their partner(s) about their needs and boundaries, setting clear expectations upfront. Third, they should prioritize self-care and take steps to reduce stress levels, such as exercise, meditation, or therapy.
They should consider exploring alternative forms of intimacy beyond physical touch, such as shared activities, spiritual connection, or creative expression.
While serving in the military presents unique challenges for LGBT individuals, there are ways to navigate these challenges and find fulfillment in both your career and your personal life. By seeking out supportive communities, communicating effectively with partners, and taking care of yourself, you can build strong, healthy relationships despite the obstacles presented by a career in the armed forces.
How do LGBT service members reconcile professional identity with personal intimacy needs and relational desires?
LGBT individuals experience complex identities that involve both their sexual orientation and gender expression. They are often forced to navigate between their professional lives and their private lives, where they may express themselves differently than at work. This can lead to feelings of dissonance or incongruence as they try to balance their multiple roles. One way that LGBT service members can address this issue is by creating strong boundaries between their personal and professional lives.