Relational resilience is a concept that has been increasingly studied in military psychology, especially among couples who are apart for extended periods due to deployment or other obligations. While some researchers have focused on the impact of separation on relationships, others have begun to examine how soldiers can build and maintain healthy and satisfying bonds despite challenging circumstances. One of the main factors that can affect relationship quality during deployments is the discrepancy between partners' emotional expectations and operational realities. This discrepancy can lead to conflict and tension within the relationship, which can negatively impact both partners' mental health.
Soldiers can learn strategies to manage these conflicts and maintain relational resilience.
We will explore some of the ways that soldiers can maintain relational resilience when partners' emotional expectations conflict with operational realities. We will begin by discussing the causes of this discrepancy, followed by strategies for managing it effectively.
We will provide tips for building and sustaining strong relationships even in difficult circumstances.
Causes of Emotional Discrepancies During Deployment
One of the primary causes of emotional discrepancies during deployment is unrealistic expectations. Partners may expect their soldier to be more available than they actually are, either physically or emotionally. This can lead to frustration and disappointment, particularly if the soldier cannot meet these expectations because of mission demands.
Partners may have different views about what constitutes an ideal relationship, which can also create conflict.
One partner may want frequent communication, while another may prefer less contact to focus on work. These differences in expectations can lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings, exacerbating the problem.
Strategies for Managing Relational Conflict During Deployment
To maintain relational resilience, soldiers need to address these issues directly and proactively. Here are some strategies for doing so:
1. Communication - Soldiers should communicate openly and honestly with their partners about their needs and limitations during deployments. They should set clear boundaries around contact frequency, availability, and communication styles. This helps both partners feel understood and respected, reducing tension and increasing trust.
2. Flexibility - Both partners must be willing to compromise and adapt to each other's needs. This means being flexible about schedules, activities, and communication methods. If one partner has a new job or hobby that takes up time, the other partner may need to be understanding and supportive. Similarly, if there are restrictions on phone calls or video chats, the partner at home should try to find alternative ways to stay connected.
3. Reassurance - Soldiers should provide reassurance when possible, even if it is not always available. This includes expressing love, appreciation, and commitment regularly. It also means acknowledging the challenges of deployment and offering emotional support when needed.
4. Self-Care - Taking care of oneself is crucial for managing stress and conflict. Soldiers should prioritize sleep, exercise, and healthy eating habits, as well as positive coping mechanisms such as meditation or journaling. Partners can help by encouraging self-care and providing practical support where possible.
Building Strong Relationships During Deployment
Despite the challenges of deployment, soldiers can build strong relationships through intentional effort and focus. Here are some tips for doing so:
1. Positive Communication - Both partners should strive to communicate positively, using kindness and empathy in all interactions. This includes avoiding criticism, blame, and negative body language. Instead, they should focus on building each other up and supporting one another's goals and dreams.
2. Shared Activities - Engage in shared activities together, whether virtually or in person. This could include cooking, watching movies, or playing games. Finding common interests helps create a sense of connection and intimacy that transcends physical distance.
3. Practical Support - Provide practical support when possible, such as sending care packages, helping with household chores, or running errands. This shows that you care about your partner's well-being and helps them feel supported during a difficult time.
4. Future Planning - Discuss future plans and goals with your partner to maintain a sense of hope and optimism. This could include talking about retirement, travel, or career aspirations. It also means reassuring them that you will be reunited soon and planning for life after deployment.
Relational resilience is crucial for military couples who face separation due to deployment. By addressing emotional discrepancies proactively and implementing strategies for managing conflict, soldiers can maintain healthy and satisfying bonds despite operational realities. Building positive communication habits and engaging in shared activities can also help build strong relationships even in challenging circumstances.
Focusing on the future and finding ways to support one another can increase feelings of connection and optimism.
How do soldiers maintain relational resilience when partners' emotional expectations conflict with operational realities?
When partners' emotional expectations conflict with operational realities, soldiers may experience various challenges that can threaten their relationships. To address these challenges, soldiers engage in different strategies such as active listening, open communication, compromise, and mutual respect for each other's needs. Active listening involves paying attention to one another's feelings, opinions, and viewpoints while avoiding assumptions and judgment. Open communication involves sharing thoughts, experiences, and concerns honestly and respectfully.