The idea that "true love" should be characterized by constant passionate attraction can lead to confusion about the normal process of emotional change within relationships. Couples may become disillusioned when their feelings do not stay at an intense high level for years or even decades. This paper will explain how the myth of endless passion misrepresents healthy relationship dynamics.
At the beginning of a romantic partnership, people often experience strong physical and emotional desire for each other. They may feel infatuated or obsessed.
It is unrealistic to expect this initial phase to last forever. The body produces chemicals such as dopamine and oxytocin during early stages of love. These neurotransmitters are associated with pleasure and attachment, but they wear off after a few months. Long-term couples who maintain stable relationships learn to appreciate subtler pleasures like companionship, shared goals, and mutual support.
In some ways, natural changes in relational intensity mirror the process of aging. Like getting older, partnerships grow more comfortable as time passes. People learn to accept flaws and differences rather than expecting perfection from one another.
Couples develop trust and respect based on mutual vulnerability and understanding.
These qualities require effort and compromise, unlike the easy, intoxicating feeling of new love.
Many couples assume their relationship will be perfect if both partners remain attractive, successful, and emotionally available. But no individual remains exactly the same over time. Life events such as illnesses, job losses, or parenthood can cause stress. Relationship issues such as conflicts, betrayals, or communication problems may arise too. When these circumstances occur, individuals need patience and compassion to work through them together.
Couples should not view challenges as signs that love has ended. Instead, they should recognize that "true" love requires sacrifice, commitment, and flexibility. As the American psychologist John Gottman says, "If you want a good marriage, you have to cultivate it." This means accepting that the relationship's dynamics will change along with life's journey and seeking growth opportunities within its constraints.
Society's romantic myths create unrealistic expectations about lasting love. Couples must understand that healthy relationships are dynamic entities that continually evolve. They should approach each other with open-mindedness, generosity, and realism. Rather than expecting endless passion, they can nurture deeper bonds through shared experiences, emotional intimacy, and honest dialogue. By acknowledging natural changes in relational intensity, people can avoid disappointment and maintain long-term satisfaction.
How does the myth of “endless passion” distort couples' perception of natural relational changes over time?
The myth of endless passion can lead to unrealistic expectations in romantic relationships, which often results in disappointment when partners experience normal fluctuations in their feelings for each other. This can cause tension and conflict within the relationship, as one partner may feel that something is wrong while the other believes they should be experiencing constant intense attraction and love.