Relationships are dynamic systems that change constantly, sometimes for better and sometimes for worse. When faced with stressful situations, couples may find themselves in need of new ways to communicate and connect with each other. Relational strategies are the methods couples employ to navigate these challenging moments. They include verbal and nonverbal communication, problem solving, conflict resolution, sharing responsibilities, expressing emotions, giving support, and providing reassurance. Stressors can come from outside sources such as work, family, finances, health issues, children, aging parents, etc., but they can also be caused by internal factors like disagreements about money, sex, parenting styles, household chores, communication styles, time management, etc. Couples who adapt their relational strategies effectively under stress have more satisfying relationships overall.
When partners feel threatened by external or internal circumstances, it's natural to react defensively. This is often called "fight or flight." Fight involves arguments, anger, criticism, insults, blame, accusations, withdrawal, avoidance, or passive-aggressiveness. Flight entails escape, silence, denial, distancing, procrastination, minimizing, or blaming others. Fight and flight behaviors can escalate into unhealthy cycles where one person tries to control the other through intimidation or manipulation. In contrast, partners who take a collaborative approach seek mutual understanding and agreement on how to address the problem together. Collaborative communication includes active listening, empathetic responses, openness, honesty, respect, compromise, negotiation, and solution-oriented discussions. It requires good communication skills, trust, shared values, and willingness to listen and learn from each other. Partners may need to make adjustments in their expectations, priorities, routines, and lifestyles to accommodate new situations.
Couples can use different tactics to reduce tension during conflict such as taking breaks, setting boundaries, using humor, apologizing, acknowledging feelings, recognizing mistakes, validating each other's concerns, seeking outside support, and practicing self-care. These are known as de-escalation techniques that help couples calm down before resolving issues. Some couples may benefit from professional counseling or therapy to develop more effective strategies for dealing with stressors. Other couples may rely on family members, friends, co-workers, social media, online groups, or hobbies for emotional support. Stress management tools include exercise, meditation, journaling, yoga, mindfulness, art therapy, music therapy, play therapy, pet therapy, breathwork, massage, acupuncture, herbal remedies, aromatherapy, or energy healing. Couples should explore what works best for them individually and together.
Partners who adapt relational strategies effectively under stress are better equipped to handle life's challenges as a team. They recognize that problems are normal and that they don't have to be solved alone. They practice active listening, empathy, honesty, compromise, negotiation, collaboration, and solution-oriented discussions. They take breaks when necessary and seek external support when needed. They prioritize their relationship above all else and work toward common goals. By adapting these strategies, partners can build trust, respect, intimacy, and resilience in their relationships.
How do partners adapt relational strategies under stress?
The adaptation of relational strategies by partners during periods of stress depends on a variety of factors such as their personalities, experiences, communication patterns, and social support systems. Some people may rely more heavily on emotionally close relationships, while others may withdraw from social situations altogether. It is important for partners to communicate openly about their needs and desires, as well as work together to find effective coping mechanisms that work for both individuals.