How can you stay sexy after decades together? Is there something to be said for being boring? What's wrong with routine? If your marriage is anything like mine, it's been a rollercoaster ride of ups and downs, but we've managed to survive through thick and thin. We were both young when we met, barely out of college. I was working at a small tech startup while she was just starting her career in accounting. We fell in love quickly - too quickly, maybe - and got married before either of us had even started to build our careers. It wasn't long before we realized that building a life together takes effort, patience, and compromise. Our relationship has gone through many phases, from newlyweds to parents to empty nesters. But no matter what stage we're in, keeping the flame alive requires work.
After thirty years, we know each other inside and out. We're comfortable enough to share everything with each other, including our deepest fears and insecurities. That doesn't mean that things always feel fresh and new. Sometimes, I wish they did. How do partners keep flirting fresh in decades-long marriages? Here are some ideas that have worked for us:
1. Keep learning about each other. You don't stop growing once you get married. In fact, you should never stop trying to understand your partner. We still ask each other questions every day to learn more about what makes the other tick. My wife's favorite color changes over time, so does my music taste. This helps us find common ground on which to build our connection.
2. Try new things together. After 30 years of marriage, it can be easy to fall into a rut. We try to break out of it by doing things neither of us would normally do alone.
We took a cooking class together and learned how to make sushi. We also recently tried rock climbing, which was terrifying but exhilarating at the same time.
3. Set goals as a couple. When you set goals together, you become a team. It gives you something to look forward to. We started saving up for retirement early and have already taken some amazing vacations together because of it. Now, we're looking forward to building a retirement home near our family.
4. Keep the sex alive. Sex is an important part of any relationship, even if it's not always easy to talk about. We make sure to spend quality time together before bed - whether we're cuddling or watching TV. Sometimes, we take turns giving each other massages, too. And yes, we use adult toys and lubricants.
5. Communicate openly. Nothing kills romance faster than poor communication. Talk about your hopes, dreams, fears, and desires with each other. If one partner feels left out, they may start seeking attention elsewhere. Be honest about what you want and need from each other. That way, you can work through problems instead of letting them fester.
6. Don't compare yourself to others. Comparison is the thief of joy. We don't compare our marriage to anyone else's. We focus on being the best possible partners we can be, for ourselves and for each other.
7. Celebrate milestones. Every anniversary, birthday, or holiday should be celebrated in a meaningful way. Make it special by taking time off work, going somewhere new, or trying something exciting. Even small gestures like flowers or chocolates can go a long way toward showing your partner how much you care.
It takes effort to keep flirting fresh in decades-long marriages. But I believe that it's worth it. When both parties are invested in their relationship, anything is possible.
How do partners keep flirting fresh in decades-long marriages?
The key is to continue dating each other, maintaining an active social life with friends and hobbies outside of marriage. This way, both partners will feel fulfilled and satisfied, which can prevent monotony from setting in. Another important aspect is to keep communication open and honest about desires and preferences, especially when it comes to intimacy.