Soldiers' Reconciliation with Relatives After Prolonged Absence
When soldiers are away from their families for extended periods, they often experience feelings of guilt about missing important events, neglecting responsibilities, and being unable to provide emotional support. This can lead to difficulty reintegrating into civilian life when they return home, as family members may have changed significantly during their absence. In addition to relational guilt, soldiers must also navigate societal expectations that may conflict with their military lifestyle, such as attending social gatherings where they cannot discuss military experiences or engaging in activities that seem trivial compared to their past experiences. To reconcile these conflicting pressures, soldiers may need to prioritize communication with loved ones, seek professional help, and find common ground with society through shared values and hobbies. By doing so, they can find balance between personal needs and societal norms, allowing them to fully rejoin their communities after serving their country.
Reconciling Relational Guilt
Guilt is a natural consequence of prolonged separation from loved ones, but it can be especially difficult to process for soldiers who have experienced traumatic events while deployed. They may feel guilty about missing birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, or other special occasions, and question whether they would have been able to prevent negative outcomes if they had been present. Some soldiers may even blame themselves for injuries or deaths suffered by fellow soldiers or civilians, leading to further distress. To address this guilt, soldiers should acknowledge the circumstances of their deployment and accept that they did what was necessary at the time. It is also helpful to seek support from fellow service members and families, who can offer perspective and empathy.
Taking action to make up for lost time, such as planning a special trip or rekindling old traditions, can help restore relationships and ease feelings of remorse.
Navigating Societal Expectations
Soldiers often face societal expectations that conflict with their military lifestyle, such as attending parties where alcohol consumption is expected or engaging in activities deemed frivolous compared to military life. This can cause frustration and resentment, making it challenging for soldiers to reconnect with civilian society. To navigate these pressures, soldiers should identify shared values with family and friends, such as patriotism or community service, and prioritize spending time on those activities rather than trying to fit into uncomfortable situations. Seeking professional help from counselors trained in working with veterans can also provide insight and tools for managing social situations.
Finding Common Ground
Finding common ground with loved ones through hobbies, interests, or shared experiences can help soldiers feel more connected to civilian life. Engaging in physical activity or volunteering together, for example, can create positive memories and strengthen bonds that transcend military life. By recognizing the importance of both personal needs and societal norms, soldiers can find balance between their military experience and civilian life, allowing them to fully rejoin their communities after serving their country.
How do soldiers reconcile relational guilt with societal and relational expectations after prolonged absence?
Research shows that prolonged military absences can lead to various forms of guilt, including relational guilt. Relational guilt refers to feelings of remorse due to perceived violation of an interpersonal relationship. Soldiers may experience relational guilt when they are away from their families for long periods of time, resulting in strained relationships and damaged communication.