People often feel uncomfortable expressing their emotions when they are close to someone. This discomfort may stem from several factors such as shame, embarrassment, fear of rejection or judgement, or cultural conditioning that discourages vulnerability.
When people get into arguments, they tend to overexplain their feelings, which can lead to more misunderstanding and frustration. In this article, we will explore why individuals struggle to express their emotions during closeness but tend to overexplain them during conflicts.
When individuals are close to each other, there is an expectation for mutual understanding and connection. Expressing emotions openly can be perceived as intrusive and even threatening the relationship. Therefore, individuals may avoid showing vulnerability and instead communicate through actions and gestures to maintain the relationship's stability. Secondly, intimate relationships are characterized by trust and respect, and opening up about one's inner thoughts and feelings requires a certain level of trust and safety. In some cases, individuals may have had past experiences where sharing their emotions resulted in hurt or betrayal, making it difficult for them to do so again.
Conflicts create an atmosphere of tension and defensiveness, leading to heightened emotions and the desire to justify oneself. Overexplaining becomes a way to assert oneself and defend against attacks.
During conflicts, individuals may feel compelled to persuade others to understand and agree with their perspective, leading to excessive justification.
Conflict situations often involve power dynamics, and individuals may use emotional expression as a strategy to gain control and manipulate others.
To address these issues, individuals need to learn how to communicate their emotions effectively, both in moments of closeness and conflict. This involves practicing self-awareness, developing empathy, and learning effective communication skills such as active listening and nonviolent communication. Individuals should also explore their fears and concerns about expressing emotions and work towards creating a safe space where they can share without judgment or criticism.
While overexplaining emotions during conflicts is common, it does not promote understanding or resolution. By becoming more aware of our emotions and why we struggle to express them, we can learn to communicate more honestly and authentically, promoting stronger and healthier relationships.
Why do individuals overexplain emotions during conflict but struggle to express them in moments of closeness?
Individuals may overexplain their emotions during conflicts as they feel the need to defend themselves or justify their feelings. During times of intimacy, individuals may find it difficult to express their emotions due to fears of rejection or vulnerability, or simply because they are not accustomed to doing so. These two situations can lead to a mismatch between how individuals communicate in different contexts, causing misunderstandings and frustration.