Relational secrecy refers to the intentional concealment of one's thoughts, feelings, and behaviors from another person in an interpersonal relationship. This can occur for various reasons, including fear of rejection, shame, embarrassment, guilt, or privacy concerns. Research suggests that relational secrecy may have negative effects on long-term psychological adjustment, particularly when it involves sensitive topics such as sex, sexuality, and intimacy.
One study found that individuals who engaged in relational secrecy regarding their sexual history were more likely to experience lower levels of life satisfaction, decreased self-esteem, and increased anxiety. This is thought to be due, in part, to the fact that concealing important aspects of oneself can lead to a sense of isolation and alienation from others, which in turn can contribute to psychological distress.
Research has shown that individuals who engage in relational secrecy regarding sexual behavior are also more likely to report experiencing negative emotions during sexual encounters, such as anxiety, guilt, and shame. This can lead to difficulty achieving orgasm, discomfort with sexual exploration, and dissatisfaction with one's partner.
This can erode trust and intimacy within a relationship, leading to further distress.
Relational secrecy can also impact physical health by increasing stress hormones and decreasing immune functioning. Studies have linked high levels of perceived stress to a range of chronic diseases, including heart disease, diabetes, and cancer. By engaging in relational secrecy, individuals may be putting themselves at risk for these and other health problems.
Despite these risks, some individuals find it difficult to open up about certain aspects of their lives, particularly those related to sex or intimacy. To address this issue, couples therapy can be a helpful resource. In therapy, partners can work together to identify and discuss their individual needs and desires, learn how to communicate effectively, and develop greater trust and intimacy.
While relational secrecy can seem like an attractive way to protect oneself emotionally or avoid conflict, the long-term consequences can be significant. It is important to consider the potential costs of concealment before deciding to keep information from a romantic partner. If you feel unable to share something with your partner, seek professional help to explore ways to improve communication and build stronger relationships.
How does relational secrecy impact long-term psychological adjustment?
Relational secrecy can have a significant impact on an individual's long-term psychological adjustment as it can lead to feelings of guilt, shame, isolation, and anxiety. It can also affect one's self-esteem and sense of identity, particularly if they feel like their secrets are the only thing that defines them.