Many people like to play BDSM games and experience kinky activities during their romantic life. To make sure that both partners are comfortable with what they do together and avoid accidents or misunderstandings, it is important to set some boundaries before starting any scene or activity. This can be done by creating a list of things you won't tolerate, such as slapping or spanking in certain places or at specific intensities. These limits help clarify your preferences and foster mutual understanding.
Here are three steps to create such a checklist:
1) Research - Learn about different kinks and fetishes, including those related to pain and humiliation. Identify all types of body parts where you don't want to be touched, hurt or punished. Think about activities that may seem appealing but would still feel uncomfortable to you. Also think about which areas of the body you enjoy being touched, stimulated, or restrained. Include your interests in the list to show how open-minded you are.
2) Discussion - Talk with your partner about your preferences regarding BDSM, sexuality, and intimacy. Share your interests, turn-offs, and hard limits. Listen carefully to their views, desires, and restrictions. Make sure they understand what you like and dislike. Explain everything clearly so there are no misunderstandings later on. Remember that consent cannot be given if someone doesn't fully comprehend what will happen next.
3) Agreement - If both parties agree on the same boundaries, put them into practice. Use your lists during your playtime to keep track of the agreed-upon limits and ensure everyone stays safe and comfortable. You might add new items as your relationship progresses, so make sure to revise this list regularly.
Checklists are not perfect, but they can serve as a foundation for negotiations and consent. They won't replace conversation, but they help clarify expectations and minimize potential conflicts. To get started, use the checklist template below, personalize it, and share it with your partner:
❐ What do you like? ❐ What turns you off? ❐ What is taboo for you?
❐ Hard Limits ❐ Soft Limits ❐ Interests