The psychological impact of war is well documented, but there is much less known about how it affects the relationships between soldiers who return home after serving. One major concern for soldiers returning from combat zones is that they may not be able to talk about their experiences because of the stigma surrounding PTSD and depression. This can lead to friction between them and their partners when they try to maintain closeness while avoiding difficult topics. In this article, I will explore the ways in which soldiers interpret and respond to reluctance from their partner to discuss traumatic events.
Soldiers are trained to keep their emotions bottled up, making it hard for them to process what they have seen and experienced during deployment. They often feel like they cannot share these feelings with others out of fear of being judged as weak or crazy. As a result, many soldiers find it difficult to talk about their time in battle with loved ones back home. For some, this can mean suppressing emotions until they explode suddenly without warning. Others may seem disconnected from normal life, struggling with flashbacks or nightmares that make it impossible to concentrate on anything else. Some couples handle these issues by simply ignoring them, pretending everything is fine while hoping for things to get better on their own.
This approach rarely works long-term, leading to tension and resentment between partners.
Many soldiers believe that talking about their experiences would jeopardize their relationships, either by alienating friends and family members or damaging job prospects. The media has also played a role in perpetuating these beliefs, portraying veterans as violent and unstable individuals who should be avoided at all costs. Consequently, many soldiers choose not to discuss their past at all, even if they want to open up more fully. Couples who manage to break through this barrier must do so carefully and slowly over time, building trust before moving forward together toward healing.
There is no one-size-fits-all solution for how partners interpret and respond to soldiers' reluctance to discuss traumatic events. Every couple is unique, and each person will experience the transition from combat to civilian life differently. It takes patience, understanding, and communication skills to navigate these challenges successfully. If you are a partner of someone who served in combat zones, I encourage you to seek professional help if needed and be patient while your loved one learns how to communicate effectively again.
How do partners interpret and respond to soldiers' reluctance to discuss traumatic events in order to protect relational stability?
Partners of veterans who have experienced trauma may be able to identify signs that their loved one is reluctant to talk about their experiences and may attempt to cope with this by trying to understand why the soldier does not want to talk. Partners may also become frustrated or feel rejected if they are unable to get their partner to open up.