Social norms have been developing since humans began living together in groups, but what are they? Social norms are rules that govern behavior within societies and determine how people behave towards each other. They can be unspoken or written laws that govern everything from dress code to religious beliefs. Norms exist everywhere because it is human nature to want to fit into society. If an individual does not adhere to these norms, they will likely face negative consequences such as social isolation, ostracism, or even physical violence. In this essay, I will focus on one particular norm: the expression of sexuality within friend groups.
There are many ways that friend groups police their members' sexuality. Some common examples include shaming members for expressing their attraction to certain genders or engaging in acts considered taboo. This type of policing often occurs through jokes, insults, or direct confrontations between group members.
If a man makes a joke about being attracted to another man, he might receive harsh criticism from his friends who tell him that "being gay" is wrong. Similarly, women may get called out for being promiscuous if they talk openly about having multiple partners. Other times, there may be no explicit shaming involved; instead, group members simply ignore or ostracize those who do not adhere to traditional gender roles or sexual preferences.
However, friend groups may reward certain expressions of sexuality.
A woman who talks openly about her interest in casual sex may gain social capital by showing that she is confident and unashamed of her desires. Similarly, men who brag about their conquests may find acceptance among other men who share similar views.
The question then becomes: Why would friend groups police or reward certain forms of sexuality? One possible answer lies in evolutionary psychology. From an evolutionary perspective, humans have developed specific cognitive mechanisms designed to promote reproduction within our species. These mechanisms can manifest as strong reactions against anything perceived as threatening to these goals.
Male friends may feel threatened when one member exhibits homosexual behavior because it could mean he won't reproduce with females. Female friends may similarly react negatively towards female members who are too open about their sexual desires. In both cases, the instinctive reaction is to try to regulate the offending individual's behavior so that they remain aligned with the norms of the group.
There is also a sociological explanation for why people engage in this type of policing and rewarding behavior. Socialization plays a major role in how we learn to behave within society. Children grow up learning what is considered "normal" through observation and reinforcement from family, peers, and media. As adults, they continue to internalize these messages and pass them on to others. This process creates a cycle where sexual norms become more rigid over time, making it harder for individuals to break free from them.
Some groups may view certain expressions of sexuality as threats to their power dynamics. By policing those who deviate from traditional roles, dominant groups can maintain their status while simultaneously justifying their actions as necessary for preserving social order.
Social mechanisms cause friend groups to police or reward certain expressions of sexuality based on factors like evolutionary psychology and socialization. Understanding these forces can help us better understand why individuals may feel pressure to conform to these norms even if they conflict with personal beliefs or values.
What social mechanisms cause friend groups to police or reward certain expressions of sexuality?
It is often observed that friendship groups tend to have an internal culture that includes norms about what kind of sexual expression is acceptable within their group. This can be due to several factors, including personal experiences and cultural beliefs. In some cases, members of a friendship group may police one another's sexual behavior to ensure that it adheres to these norms, while others may actively encourage or even reward expressions of sexuality that are deemed acceptable by the group.