One of the most important roles parents play is to provide their children with love, care, attention, affection, and support.
Some parents may be less responsive than others due to various reasons such as mental health issues, lack of experience, or personal trauma. This can result in what psychologists call "parental frigidity", which refers to a lack of warmth, sensitivity, and engagement during childhood. Such parenting styles have been linked to negative outcomes for children, including attachment anxiety, emotional regulation difficulties, and relational problems later in life. In this article, I will explain how parental frigidity affects these three areas of development.
Development of Attachment Style
Attachment style refers to how individuals relate to others in close relationships, particularly romantic partnerships. The quality of early attachment experiences plays an essential role in shaping adult attachment patterns. Children who grow up in environments where they do not receive enough nurturing and support are more likely to develop insecure attachments. They may become anxious or avoidant in future relationships, feeling unworthy of love or distrustful of others. Parenting that is too intrusive or controlling can also lead to insecurity. Parental frigidity, however, seems to be uniquely associated with attachment avoidance.
One study found that children whose mothers were emotionally cold during infancy had difficulty forming strong bonds with their peers in middle childhood, suggesting that early parent-child interactions have long-lasting effects on social skills.
Development of Emotional Regulation
Emotional regulation involves the ability to manage one's own feelings and respond appropriately to situations. It is crucial for mental health, well-being, and interpersonal functioning. Children who experience parental frigidity may struggle to express their needs, emotions, and desires, leading to emotional dysregulation. They may become overly sensitive to negative feedback, take criticism too personally, or withdraw from interpersonal engagement altogether. Studies suggest that children raised by less responsive parents tend to exhibit greater negative emotion intensity and reactivity, lower self-esteem, and higher anxiety than those raised by warm, attentive parents. This can affect their ability to form stable and satisfying romantic relationships later in life.
Development of Relational Resilience
Relational resilience refers to an individual's capacity to navigate challenges in close relationships without becoming overwhelmed or damaged. Individuals with secure attachments are more likely to develop relational resilience because they feel safe exploring new relationships and pursuing intimacy without fear of rejection.
Those who grew up with parental frigidity may lack this sense of security and confidence in their ability to connect with others. As a result, they may be hesitant to enter into relationships, afraid to invest emotionally, or quick to abandon them when things get difficult. Research has found that low maternal responsiveness during infancy predicts poorer relationship quality in adolescence and young adulthood.
Parental frigidity negatively impacts the development of attachment style, emotional regulation, and relational resilience. It is crucial for parents to provide their children with warmth, sensitivity, and support to promote healthy psychological development. Children need to experience unconditional love, validation, and acceptance to learn how to trust others and manage their own feelings. Without these early experiences, individuals may struggle to form stable and fulfilling relationships as adults.
How does parental frigidity influence the development of attachment style, emotional regulation, and relational resilience?
Parental frigidity is characterized by emotional disengagement from their child, lack of warmth, and limited verbal communication. It can lead to the child's difficulties with trust, self-esteem, and interpersonal relationships. According to research, children who experience this form of neglect may develop an insecure attachment style (e. g. , avoidant or anxious).