There are many challenges that can arise when soldiers return home from combat, including adjusting to civilian life, dealing with post-traumatic stress disorder, and reconnecting with loved ones. One of the most significant challenges is reconciling changes in worldview caused by combat with the relational values held by their partners. This issue has been studied extensively by psychologists who have observed a pattern of increased risk for divorce among veterans returning from combat, especially if they have suffered trauma during their service. The impact of military conflict on personal beliefs and behaviors can cause strain within couples, leading to breakups and divorces, but it also presents an opportunity for growth and transformation within the relationship.
I will discuss how soldiers cope with these shifts in perspective and maintain healthy connections despite them. First, I will examine what factors contribute to changes in outlook after experiencing war, such as PTSD or moral injury. Then, I will explore strategies that may help partners navigate these differences, such as open communication, empathy, compromise, and mutual understanding.
I will provide resources for support and counseling services available to those seeking assistance in addressing issues related to intimacy and relationships.
Factors Contributing to Shifts in Worldview
Soldiers may experience a variety of cognitive, emotional, and behavioral changes after exposure to combat, which can lead to alterations in their view of the world around them. These changes may include:
- **Trauma**: Soldiers who witness violence or death firsthand may develop symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), including nightmares, flashbacks, anxiety, depression, hypervigilance, and avoidance behaviors. These reactions can lead to difficulties with trust, intimacy, and closeness, making it difficult for individuals to connect with loved ones.
- **Moral Injury**: Moral injury occurs when someone experiences guilt, shame, or remorse due to actions taken during warfare that violate their personal ethical standards. This can cause feelings of isolation, worthlessness, and despair, leading to problems with self-esteem and interpersonal relationships.
- **Loss of Control**: Combat often involves situations where soldiers must make quick decisions under pressure, resulting in feelings of helplessness or lack of autonomy. This can translate into difficulties with decision-making at home, leading to conflict between partners over parenting styles, finances, and other matters.
- **Desensitization**: Soldiers may become desensitized to violence and death, causing them to struggle with empathy and compassion in civilian life. They may also have difficulty connecting with people on an emotional level, leading to communication breakdowns within the relationship.
Strategies for Reconciling Differences
Partners of soldiers who have experienced combat can take steps to support their significant others in coping with these changes while maintaining healthy connections. Some strategies include:
- **Open Communication**: Partners should strive to create a safe space for dialogue, listening actively and respectfully to understand each other's perspectives. Honest conversations about fears, struggles, and concerns can help build trust and intimacy.
- **Empathy**: Recognizing the unique challenges faced by veterans returning from war can foster empathy and understanding between partners. This includes acknowledging the trauma of combat experiences, respecting differences in worldview, and showing patience during difficult moments.
- **Compromise**: Soldiers may need time to adjust to civilian life, which means making compromises when necessary to accommodate their needs. Partners can offer flexibility in scheduling, decision-making, and household responsibilities, creating a sense of shared responsibility and mutual support.
- **Mutual Understanding**: Couples must work together to recognize that both individuals bring unique strengths and weaknesses to the relationship, including military experience. Acknowledging this mutuality can promote growth, resilience, and appreciation for one another.
Resources for Support and Counseling
Soldiers who struggle with intimacy or relationships due to combat experiences may benefit from counseling or therapy services, such as couples counseling or PTSD treatment programs. These resources provide opportunities for healing, reconciliation, and rebuilding trust within the relationship.
Many organizations exist to assist veterans and their families, offering financial assistance, mental health care, job placement, housing assistance, and more. Some examples include the Department of Veteran Affairs, Wounded Warrior Project, Operation Homefront, and Disabled American Veterans.
Soldiers' shifts in worldview after experiencing combat can cause strain within their relationships but also present an opportunity for personal growth and transformation. By practicing open communication, empathy, compromise, and mutual understanding, partners can help their significant others navigate these differences while maintaining strong connections. With support from family, friends, and professional services, veterans can achieve lasting and fulfilling relationships despite the challenges posed by military service.
How do soldiers reconcile changes in worldview caused by combat with the relational values held by their partners?
Many veterans experience difficulty reintegrating into civilian life after witnessing warfare. This can be attributed to various factors such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), moral injury, and the discrepancy between civilians' view of military service and reality on the battlefield. The psychological impact of war may cause soldiers to struggle with trust issues, guilt, depression, anxiety, insomnia, substance abuse, and suicidal thoughts.