The following is an excerpt from Chapter 10: "How to Build Relationships" in my forthcoming book "Love & Sex for Everyone".
What exactly do I mean when I talk about internalized societal biases shaping relational dynamics, communication, and social functioning? In this chapter, I will explain how stereotypes and normative beliefs that are embedded within our cultural values can influence everything from the language we use to describe ourselves and others, to the expectations we have for successful interactions, to the ways in which we relate to one another.
Let's think about the role of gender in interpersonal dynamics. Our society places certain ideals upon men and women - what it means to be masculine versus feminine, and even different roles for genders based on their sex characteristics.
Many people believe that men should initiate sexual encounters and be more aggressive than women. Similarly, women are often expected to be passive and submissive. These ideas shape how both men and women behave in relationships, leading to patterns of dating where men feel pressured to approach women they find attractive and women may reject advances if they don't fit into a narrow box of traditional femininity. This creates tension and conflict between partners, making it difficult to establish genuine connection with one another.
Another factor that shapes relational dynamics is race. White people are usually seen as superior to other races, creating a power dynamic that can impact conversations and decision-making processes. People of color may face prejudice or discrimination because of their skin color, leading them to question whether they can trust white partners. This can lead to mistrust, misunderstanding, and even resentment within a relationship. It also means that white individuals need to be especially conscious of their words and actions when interacting with someone who does not share their racial identity. In addition, socioeconomic status can influence our interactions. Those with higher income levels may be perceived as smarter or better educated, while those with lower incomes may be seen as less capable or intelligent. This can affect the way we communicate, leading to assumptions about each other's abilities or knowledge.
Ageism can play a role in shaping our interactions, as older adults may be viewed as less capable or desirable in some contexts.
All of these factors can create unconscious biases that affect how we relate to one another, from how we choose partners to what language we use to describe ourselves and others. We often internalize these ideas without realizing it, which makes them harder to challenge.
It's important to recognize these patterns so we can work against them - both individually and collectively - if we want healthy relationships based on mutual respect, communication, and understanding.
End excerpt
How does internalized societal bias shape relational dynamics, communication, and social functioning?
Internalized societal biases are deeply rooted beliefs about certain social groups that people hold themselves, which can be negative or positive. These beliefs shape how individuals perceive others from different backgrounds, communicate with them, and interact within their communities.