Queer desire is a broad term that encompasses various sexual orientations and gender identities that fall outside of societal norms, including but not limited to homosexuality, bisexuality, pansexuality, transgenderism, and nonbinary identities. Queer people often face discrimination and stigma due to their sexual orientation and gender identity, which can lead to feelings of isolation and alienation.
Queer individuals may also experience unique ethical dilemmas when it comes to pursuing romantic and/or sexual relationships within religious institutions, where doctrinal norms and institutional expectations regarding marriage and family life are typically heteronormative. In this article, I will explore how queer desire intersects with doctrinal norms and institutional expectations and discuss some of the ethical dilemmas that arise from these intersections.
Doctrinal Norms
Doctrinal norms refer to the set of beliefs or principles that guide religious organizations in matters such as marriage, family, and sexuality. These norms are often based on interpretations of scripture or other sacred texts and may be deeply ingrained in an organization's culture and history.
Many Christian denominations believe that marriage should be between one man and one woman for life and that any sex outside of this context is sinful. Some Christian churches even go so far as to require celibacy for unmarried members or excommunicate those who engage in same-sex relationships. Similarly, Islamic teachings emphasize the importance of marriages between opposite-sex couples and prohibit extramarital sex altogether. Jewish law permits same-sex relations but requires them to occur between married partners only, and Hinduism recognizes a third gender known as "hijras," who may marry members of either sex but must take vows of celibacy.
Institutional Expectations
Institutional expectations refer to the social norms that govern behavior within religious communities, including attitudes towards gender roles, dress code, and acceptable forms of expression. These expectations can vary widely depending on the community, but generally reflect traditional values regarding femininity and masculinity, modesty and decorum, and conformity to cultural norms.
In some conservative Christian circles, women may be expected to wear dresses and skirts at all times and men may be discouraged from showing too much skin. Similarly, in Orthodox Judaism, both men and women must cover their heads during worship services and women are not allowed to read from the Torah. Muslim communities often have strict rules about covering hair and body parts, while Hindu temples may have specific requirements for how devotees should dress when visiting sacred sites.
Intersection of Queer Desire with Doctrinal Norms and Institutional Expectations
When queer desire intersects with doctrinal norms and institutional expectations, ethical dilemmas arise that challenge individuals' spiritual and emotional wellbeing.
A lesbian woman raised in an Evangelical church might struggle with her sexual orientation while trying to remain true to her faith, leading to feelings of guilt, shame, and isolation. A gay man living in a Hasidic Jewish community may feel torn between his sexual identity and his desire to belong to a tight-knit community. Likewise, a bisexual person raised in a Mormon family may experience internal conflict over whether to pursue same-sex relationships or stay within the boundaries of the faith. These ethical dilemmas can lead to depression, anxiety, self-harm, and even suicide in some cases.
Potential Solutions
Some religious organizations have begun to recognize the need for greater inclusivity and acceptance of queer identities, though progress is slow and uneven. Some churches offer support groups for LGBTQ+ members, others allow ordination of nonbinary clergy, and still others advocate for marriage equality.
Many conservative denominations continue to adhere strictly to traditional teachings on sexuality and gender, leaving queer people feeling excluded and marginalized. Some individuals choose to leave their faith communities altogether in order to find more welcoming spaces for their sexuality, while others remain and work towards change from within.
Resolving these ethical dilemmas requires a willingness to listen to queer voices and engage in meaningful dialogue about how doctrinal norms and institutional expectations can be adapted to accommodate diversity.
What ethical dilemmas arise when queer desire intersects with doctrinal norms and institutional expectations?
Queer desire often challenges religious, cultural, and social norms that may be considered traditional or conservative by many people. This intersection of individual desires with external restrictions can lead to ethical dilemmas where individuals must decide whether to prioritize their personal beliefs or adhere to societal expectations. Some people may experience guilt, shame, fear of rejection, or internalized homophobia due to conflicting values between their identity and society's standards.