The trauma can negatively affect both individuals and their relationship.
Military life is stressful because it involves risks, pressure, and uncertainty. Trauma refers to intense emotional reactions to difficult experiences, such as combat or witnessing violence against others. It often results in feelings of fear, helplessness, anxiety, depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Sexual minorities may have additional difficulties due to societal stigma and discrimination within the military culture. This can lead to low self-esteem, social isolation, substance abuse, and mental health issues. These factors may interfere with trust, communication, support, and commitment in LGBT partnerships.
There are several ways that trauma can impact LGBT military couples. Some people become emotionally distant or irritable after experiencing severe events, which strains intimacy and companionship. Others might develop fear responses triggered by triggers similar to those encountered during trauma. They may feel constantly alert, jumpy, or hypervigilant even when they're safe. Such symptoms undermine closeness and affection.
LGBT service members also face discrimination based on their sexuality. In some cases, this can be institutionalized through policies barring openness about orientation.
Don't ask, don't tell prevented service members from discussing sexuality until a few years ago. The lack of role models makes it harder for LGBT veterans to feel comfortable expressing their needs.
Many colleagues oppose homosexuality, making relationships appear unnatural and unacceptable. All these factors create emotional distance between partners, decreasing mutual respect and understanding.
Traumatic experiences make partners more susceptible to PTSD, which often affects relationships negatively. Symptoms include flashbacks, nightmares, guilt, anger, avoidance, hyperarousal, numbing, and dissociation. Victims may withdraw from loved ones, act out aggressively, or have difficulty controlling impulses. These behaviors harm the relationship, especially if one partner has PTSD while the other doesn't understand what's happening. This can lead to arguments, accusations, jealousy, resentment, or infidelity.
Such issues erode trust, communication, intimacy, and commitment, resulting in conflict and separation.
The effects of trauma can last long after combat stops. Survivors might struggle with fear, shame, anxiety, anger, depression, sleeplessness, irritability, substance abuse, and memory problems that interfere with personal and professional lives. These symptoms damage physical health, social life, and financial stability. They undermine confidence and self-esteem, which leads to negative feelings about the world, themselves, and others. Some victims blame their partners for their struggles, increasing tension and conflict. Others feel guilty or ashamed because they believe they should be stronger or shouldn't complain about it.
LGBT service members face additional challenges because they're not allowed to disclose sexuality freely. If they reveal their orientation, they risk losing jobs, housing, insurance, and benefits. The lack of support causes stress, isolation, and depression. It also makes it harder to find mental health services tailored to their needs. Without counseling or therapy, survivors can't process trauma effectively, leading to ongoing distress. All these factors increase the chances of divorce, breakups, or domestic violence.
On a positive note, some LGBT couples use traumatic experiences to strengthen relationships.
They may learn how to manage stress better by using relaxation techniques, support groups, or psychotherapy. They can build trust through shared vulnerability and open communication. This increases mutual understanding, empathy, intimacy, and commitment.
Such efforts create bonds that help them cope with future adversities.
This requires intentional effort and commitment from both partners. It isn't easy to overcome the past, especially if one partner doesn't want to engage in healing work.
The military must provide trauma-informed care to LGBT service members. This includes acknowledging the unique challenges faced by this community, providing culturally competent treatment, addressing systemic discrimination, and ensuring access to resources. Such steps would improve veterans' wellbeing and reduce relationship difficulties.
These changes will make the armed forces stronger and more effective.
What impact does exposure to traumatic events have on the dynamics of LGBT partnerships within the military?
Many individuals may experience a wide range of responses when exposed to traumatic events, including flashbacks, nightmares, avoidance of reminders of the event, guilt, and difficulty connecting with others emotionally. Additionally, some research has indicated that members of marginalized groups such as LGBT people may be at an increased risk for experiencing mental health issues related to trauma exposure due to factors such as stigma and discrimination.