How do dependency patterns form around the fantasy of being "completed" by another person?
In order to understand how dependency patterns form around the fantasy of being "completed" by another person, one must first grasp what it means to be "completed." Completion is often associated with closure and finality - the feeling that all needs have been met and nothing more is required. It can also mean satisfaction, fulfillment, or completion - the sense that an experience has been fully realized. In romantic relationships, being completed may imply emotional connection, mutual understanding, and physical closeness.
When these qualities are lacking, individuals may seek out external sources of fulfillment in order to feel satisfied and whole. This can lead to dependencies on others for validation, support, or even sex.
One way this happens is through attachment theory. Attachment theory states that humans are born with an innate need to attach to others in order to survive. When children bond with their primary caregivers during infancy, they develop secure attachments that help them feel safe and protected as they grow up. These secure attachments then become models for future relationships, influencing how individuals interact with other people. If a child's caregiver is unavailable, inconsistent, or abusive, they may develop insecure attachments which manifest later in life as anxiety, avoidance, or ambivalence towards intimacy. Such individuals may seek out partners who reflect their early experiences, either consciously or subconsciously, forming unhealthy dependencies based on familiar patterns from childhood.
Another factor is socialization. From a young age, society encourages certain behaviors and norms around relationships.
Many cultures emphasize heterosexual monogamy and marriage as the ideal relationship structure. Individuals who do not fit into this mold may feel isolated and alone, leading them to search for alternative forms of connection such as casual encounters or polygamous arrangements. Similarly, gender roles dictate what types of behavior are acceptable for each gender; women are often expected to be nurturing and emotionally available while men are expected to be strong and independent. People who don't conform to these expectations may struggle to find partners or form meaningful bonds due to societal pressures.
A third contributor is trauma. Traumatic experiences can have lasting effects on an individual's psychological development, affecting how they view themselves and others. Those who have experienced abuse, neglect, or abandonment may struggle with trust issues, making it difficult to open up emotionally or physically. They may also rely on external sources of validation to feel safe and secure, seeking out relationships that reinforce these beliefs rather than challenging them. This can lead to codependent dynamics where one partner becomes overly reliant on the other for emotional support, leaving both parties feeling insecure and unsatisfied.
To avoid dependency patterns, individuals must work on building healthy attachments and relationships through communication, self-awareness, and personal growth. Therapy can help address past traumas and develop coping mechanisms for dealing with stress and anxiety.
Practicing mindfulness and self-care can increase overall well-being and reduce feelings of neediness in relationships.
Exploring nontraditional relationship structures or polyamory can provide more options for finding fulfillment outside of traditional norms. By understanding the root causes of dependency patterns, people can create healthier, more satisfying connections based on mutual respect and shared values.
How do dependency patterns form around the fantasy of being “completed†by another person?
In order for dependency patterns to develop around the desire to be completed by another person, individuals must have a lack of self-confidence and an attachment disorder, which makes them feel incomplete and unfulfilled when they are alone. This can result in the development of co-dependency relationships, where one partner seeks to fulfill their needs through their partner's approval and validation.