I will explore the question of how service members decide what emotional experiences from their deployment to share with loved ones and what to keep private. This decision can be difficult for many reasons, but it is an important one that affects both the service member and those they are close to. Throughout this article, I will discuss the factors that may influence these decisions, the potential impact of sharing vs. shielding, and strategies for effectively communicating about deployment experiences. By the end of this piece, readers should have a better understanding of why and how service members make these choices, and how they might approach similar situations themselves.
Factors Influencing Decisions to Share or Shield
When determining whether to share or shield emotional experiences from deployment, there are several key factors that may come into play. One major factor is the nature of the experience itself. Service members may choose to share certain positive or negative experiences because they believe them to be significant, relatable, or informative.
If a soldier has witnessed something particularly traumatic or life-changing during deployment, they may feel compelled to talk about it in order to process their own feelings and receive support from others. On the other hand, if they experienced something deeply personal or intimate, such as a sexual encounter or mental health struggle, they may opt to keep it private out of fear of judgment or discomfort.
Another factor is the relationship between the service member and their family or friends. Some people may feel more comfortable talking openly about sensitive topics with close partners or parents than with casual acquaintances, while others may prefer to maintain a certain level of secrecy even within their inner circle. This can depend on trust levels, cultural norms, personality types, and more.
Different relationships may require different approaches; a spouse or partner may need to know specific details about a difficult situation in order to provide effective care and support, whereas a parent or child may benefit from a general overview without too many specifics.
Personal beliefs about privacy and vulnerability can also influence these decisions. Many service members value keeping some aspects of their lives private, even from those closest to them, for reasons related to privacy, self-protection, or personal identity. They may not want to burden loved ones with difficult emotions or risk sharing too much information that could lead to misunderstandings or unintended consequences down the road.
Each individual must weigh all of these factors and decide what works best for them in any given situation.
Impact of Sharing vs. Shielding
Sharing emotional experiences from deployment can have both positive and negative effects on the service member and their loved ones. On one hand, being able to talk candidly about tough situations can be cathartic and help to process feelings in a healthy way. It can also build closeness and mutual understanding by allowing loved ones to see a fuller picture of who the soldier is as an individual.
It can also cause discomfort, judgment, confusion, or fear in others, especially if they are unaware of military culture or sensitive topics like sexuality or mental health. In addition, sharing can make things feel more "real" to family members who were previously only experiencing deployment through news reports or stories from friends; this can bring up additional worries or anxiety.
Shielding certain experiences can protect loved ones from feeling overwhelmed or upset, but it can also create distance or resentment. Family members may feel cut off from important parts of the soldier's life, leading to frustration or loneliness. They may also wonder why their loved one seems distant or secretive, which can create tension between them.
Keeping some details private can contribute to shame or guilt for the service member themselves, preventing them from fully processing their own emotions and potentially creating long-term problems down the road.
There is no right answer when it comes to deciding what to share and what to shield about deployment emotions. Service members must weigh all of these factors carefully and consider how their choices will impact both themselves and those around them. With practice and communication, they can learn to navigate this delicate balance in ways that work best for everyone involved.
Strategies for Effective Communication
There are several strategies that service members can use to effectively communicate about deployment experiences with loved ones. One approach is to start by sharing general information first, such as broad outlines of major events or impressions, then gradually adding specifics as trust builds. This allows loved ones to get comfortable with the topic before diving into difficult topics without surprises. Another strategy is to focus on feelings rather than actions, providing context for why things felt a certain way without getting too detailed about individual incidents.
A service member might say "I had a really hard time adjusting to being away from home" instead of "I missed you so much I almost cheated on my spouse". Lastly, honesty and openness are key; if something was particularly challenging or upsetting, being honest about that can help others understand better while also allowing the service member to process their own feelings.
By using these strategies and considering all of the factors above, service members can make informed decisions about which emotional experiences to share and which to shield during deployment. This can help to build strong relationships and support networks while protecting privacy and vulnerability at the same time.
How do service members determine which emotional experiences from deployment to share and which to shield to protect loved ones?
During their time on active duty, military personnel are likely to experience intense emotions that may be difficult for them to process alone. This can create challenges when deciding what parts of their experiences to share with loved ones back home. While some veterans may feel comfortable discussing all their experiences with family and friends, others may choose to shelter certain details for fear of negative reactions. Factors such as cultural norms, personal relationships, and past trauma history may influence these choices.